Wits end with DS2.10

[ninenicknames]

I am lost as how to discipline my DS 2.10mths.

He is rude, started spitting, constantly says no to everything.

EVERYTHING is a fight / battle.

I'm a lone parent (NC with DS Father) so it's just me that's responsible for discipline.

He goes to childminder everyday & rarely plays up for her.

He starts pre school on Monday.

I just don't know how to reign this behaviour, I've tried time out, naughty step, taking toys away. None of it works, he will have a tantrum over everything, record one has been 2 hours & 45mins, I nearly lost my mind :(

Anyone have any tips, please.

[corythatwas]

I think at this age you may have to cut down on any expectations of finding a mode of discipline that will sort all your problems once and for all. That will come, but he is still very little; not every little instance needs to be a once-and-for-all learning experience. A lot of the time you may be able to simply avoid conflicts by not giving him the chance to misbehave: keep him on reigns if he is a runner, try to prevent him getting at things he is not allowed to have, distract him when he starts playing up. And praise him for walking nicely, playing nicely etc. Identify if there are certain scenarios that lead to trouble and try to distract him then. (I always found if I started telling a story at the bus stop a couple of minutes before the bus was due that saw us through the getting on the bus and travelling).

In the long run, he will learn just as much from a more crafty approach as from a more straightforward misbehave and be punished scenario.

Sometimes conflict is unavoidable and then you may just have to sit out the tantrum. Try to aim at natural consequences (e.g. take away the object he is using to misbehave rather than a more complex and indirect system) and above all, make it short. They have short memories at this age and they need any unpleasantness to be over very quickly.

And when he does tantrum, try to distract yourself!!! (sing silently to yourself, start thinking about something else, focus your mind on something else). Some children just are tantrummers. I was a little horror by all accounts, yet I have grown up a reasonably well adjusted and perfectly law abiding citizen- and quite a patient mother. But I have been told that my own mother was at breaking point. She got her reward though: I was not a difficult teen.

[ninenicknames]

What a lovely response! Thank you ....

I need more patience ....

[BarbarianMum]

I think cory has aid it all tbh. Certainly I know of no "sure fix" methods I thought I did w ds1 but then had ds2.

[BarbarianMum]

..cory has said...

Obviously