major bedtime issues - need help please!!

[LimesMum]

I've been on here before about this but DD is getting worse and worse when put to bed.

We have always read her some stories and then just put her in the cot and kissed her good night, she would maybe roll around and play for a bit but would then go off to sleep without a peep.

In the last few weeks she has started to call for us to "come back" and then the excuses start!! I've heard them all!! But after 2-3 re visits she would sleep.

So now as soon as she is put down she starts crying and asking us to stay. For some reason when I'm not around it isn't so bad so DH has been pretending I have gone out and it's nowhere near as bad?! But I can't pretend to be out every night!! Now if I go in and then Try to leave she gets hysterical.

Head banging, throwing hers do around the cot, climbing out of the cot.... She just will not settle.

We have tried a controlled crying type approach but just gets worse when we go back in.

We are converting the cot to a bed tomorrow which I'm sure will make everything worse!!

I'm also 34 weeks pregnant...

I have read and been told on here to sit I the room with her until she falls asleep. This doesn't work as if I'm in the room she just wants to talk and play.

I've tried cutting her nap much shorter and today tried no nap but still no difference!?

I don't know if she is acting up as she is picking up a baby is imminent??

I really really want to sort this before baby!!

I so miss my evenings, currently not settling til 9ish and then I can't relax either??

She is 2 years and almost 4 months.

All advice massively welcomed!!

Thanks xxx

[Smartiepants79]

My DD is like this. She is a year older but it's been this way for some time. It's a bit erratic so some night she'll go easily, others it takes a while. She hasn't napped for a year. She is also better for daddy.
We tried con rolled crying and it worked to a point. I have to stay that most night I sit with her til she has chilled out enough to sleep then she lets me go! Sometimes she actually falls asleep with me there.
She also plays and sings and asks for stuff. I tend to sit with my back to her and ignore, ignore. If that's not working I threaten to leave, and if she still doesn't settle down I actually leave. Cue screaming and chasing after me and promising to be good!! It works in the end can take up to 20 minutes on a bad day. I have an older one as well. Some times I can get away with going to say good night to her sister and by the time I'm back she's asleep. Doesn't always work though!

[Smartiepants79]

Rapid return techniques might be worth looking at if your putting her into a bed.
We had a few weeks of rough night when she first went into the bed. Lots of getting up in the middle of the night and refusing to get back in! It took some perseverance to crack that one but its worth it.

[Newtobecomingamum]

Rapid return, do not engage in conversation but repeat slept time shhh whilst reassuring cuddles and lay back down, then exit. Leave for 5mins return repeat, ten mins return repeat and then another ten mins etc. You have to be strong and stick to it. Worked wonders for us!

[LimesMum]

Thanks will try this tonight!

[f1ddlesticks]

I had similar with DD at the same age, though she was already in a bed. I found thatshe really needed quiet time in bed to transition from active daytime to quiet, ready-for-sleep mode. So by sitting with her but gradually making interaction minimal until I'd either ignore her or just say "sshhhhh, sleepytime now..." when she tried to chat.

I think it's hard for them to go from all the fun of daytime to boring bed without that winddown time - and no matter how quiet a bedtime routine we did she was still pretty overexcitable by lights out.

So now we do a story on our bed, a story on hers, into bed and lights dimmed for a song, lights dimmed more for next song, the I just sit with her in dark for 10-15 mins, (sometimes with her tossing and turning and chatting) until she quietens down a bit, then a final song and I say goodnight and leave. She usually gets up once or twice with an excuse which we deal with quickly (eg a wee, even though she has a nappy on), then she has to stay in bed or her door has to close - which she hates. Took a bit of controlled crying and lots of door closing for it to sink in, but a week or so in and she got into it.

Sorry - that's an epic post, sometimes helps to see what others do though! Good luck!