fear DS will bite another child..again.

[americantrish]

DS is 2.5 years old and does not speak very well... he has bitten two children on two separate incidents. one of those incidents i witnessed (the other boy, shoved DS in the face and took DS's toy) and DS bite him (i did tell him off for this.)

the other time was at DS's old preschool and i did not witness it.

i am worried it will happen again at either a toddler group or nursery (when i find him one!). i've been told repeatedly that this is a normal stage some toddlers go thru, but am hoping some other mom's out there who've been thru this can help!

thanks (and please dont judge my little dracula!)

[KezzaG]

Completely normal in my experience. My ds didnt do it a lot, maybe a couple of times, but has also been on the receiving end of bites about 3 times.

Actually, just thinking about it, it was probably more than twice. I know he bit another child at nursery, bit me and also but my mum.

Hopefully the phase wont last too long, and you just have to keep teling him no, or appropriate punishment until he learns.

[sunnysideup]

Yes, really don't worry. Some kids just do it...all you can do with the new nursery or group is mention it to them as something that happened a couple of times, and ask them what their system is for dealing with it? At this age I would think they would remove the child from the situation, rather than anything more 'punitive'!

At home what I did with ds if he bit me, was to say a loud "NO"! then put him down on the floor and walk away, giving him no attention whatsover for it....it is a phase and I think it passes all the quicker given a complete lack of attention on the biting.

[colditz]

He probably will, don't worry about it, nobody else worth speaking to will take it personally!

As long as you try your best to prevent it, and make it clear to him irt isn't acceptable, he'll be fine

[booge]

I'm going through this with DS who is 20 months, it has become a habit with him over the last 3 months since DD was born and it is a real worry. We are just having to be extra vigilant to stop bites before they happen and try not to give him attention for biting but somedays I really feel at a loss over how to deal with it. I am currently following the advice on this site
here

[americantrish]

thanks ladies..i guess i am worried if it happens again it will interfere with a friendship! thanks for the link too!

[ClareL]

My DS who was 3 in Nov is a biter. He started about a year ago and I have been a complete stress head over the whole thing. He has bitten quite a lot of children at playgroups - some parents took it better than others. One mum even phoned up the lady who ran the playgroup to try and get me banned!! It isn't like you tell your child to go up to children and bite them. Luckily when he turned 3 the episodes have become less and less. I spoke to my HV and she referred him to speech therapy and I now have an appt in Jan. His communication is now a lot better now than it was when the biting first started - and it seems the better his communication the less of the biting. Baring in mind I went out with my friend this week and her DS of the same age bit my DS!! It's a horrendous stage to go through but I finally feel like I am coming out the other end. Just be as patient as you can - watch him like a hawk - if he goes to nursery, warn them. My nursery made me feel awful about 2 biting incidents he had there - but they watched him a lot closer than they would of done and he has only ever done it again once but then the same child he bit - bit him back at the same time!!

[americantrish]

as much as he needs to go back to preschool or nursery now, i am dreading it. do i tell them beforehand that he has bitten other kids? do i not? i am going to mention it to my HV soon as well (just recently registered with new surgery so still yet to see HV) - i dread a long wait to see a speece therapist here....

[potoroo]

My DS is 21 months and has just come out of a biting phase that lasted for about 3 months. The nursery was very good about it and scheduled some mettings with us to talk through their approach, which included extra one to one staff time with DS.
Most kids will bite one another once or twice anyway, so they were not worried about that. They are also not concerned about provoked biting like the incident you mentioned, because this is fairly normal. In DS' case, it was a couple of times a week, unprovoked and with specific other children.

It was very distressing but these are the things that worked with us:

• saying'No' very firmly and putting him down and walking away (limited success because DS is happy to play independently)

-Paying extravagant amounts of attention to the other child who he bit and ignoring DS (while keeping an eye on him) - this worked well for DH & I
-Removing his favourite toy if he had it (reasonable success)
-Naughty Step - this one worked surprisingly well. We have to site on the step with him, but he doesn't like it, and will now normally stop what he is doing if threatened with the Naughty Step.

It took a few months for him to stop, but he is fine now. Hope this is helpful.

[Loganberry]

My DS1 went through a 18 month phase of biting, (from 18m till 3 yrs) whatever we tried with him didn't work at all (basically, you name it, we tried it) and he had a diabolical reputation. It wasn't until he started at pre-school we finally got it solved - his carer there and I decided to let him attend for 40 minutes once a week, and made it very clear to him every time he went that he could stay longer if his behaviour improved and he stopped attacking the other children. He adored being there and was very annoyed about leaving early! A month later, he was there for a whole session every week, a month after that, two full sessions a week, the following term he went every day, and we've had no more incidents since (he's now 5.5 yrs old and currently thinks football is a rough game....!) It really is just a phase, but my word, it can seem to go on forever!

[americantrish]

thanks for the reassurances ladies... he hasnt been too nippy with me lately so i'm hoping...