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who do I go to with concerns about my son?

(7 Posts)
CinderellaFant Tue 05-Apr-16 10:41:54

My son is almost 6. He's a great boy, no worries about bad behaviour and is bright for his age. He does however worry about every little thing. He still cries some mornings going into school- especially if someone new will be in that day or if he has been off for a while- example being off for Easter holidays last week. He went back yesterday and cried the whole way in the car and clung to me when we arrived at school. He kept saying he was nervous and scared- It's like he is taking a panic attack. He gets clammy, says he feels sick and doesn't think rationally. I hate to see him that way.

We went to the cinema over Easter, we were in a different town for the day and thought we would go and see zootropolis. He panicked as we were going to a different cinema that we had never been to and again kept saying he was nervous and scared and kept trying to pull us away. I worked with him and once we were in and he was seated it was fine, we had a great day out.

He also takes things very literally- when he was 4 and in nursery they were learning about outer space. The teacher told them all to pretend they were in a rocket and hold onto their seats so they could blast off into space. Ds was terrified and crying that he didn't want to go to space.

In a gadget type shop the worker was using a toy remote control car, making it drive around the floor and again, ds got scared and was crying and shouting that we had to get out as the car would run us over.

I don't know if it's relevant but his fine motor skills aren't great either. He still can't pedal a bike or trike, he just can't grasp pushing his legs the whole way round.

He is an avid collector of things- first it was Thomas the tank trains, then sky landers, now he's mad on dinosaurs- he can tell you every name, and loves to sort them into meat eaters and plant eaters.

He doesn't like going to friends houses, he's been twice and at one friends he cried and when I picked him up said he missed me and wasn't going back. At another's he was great, had a great time however when he was invited over again he bluntly told the mum no he didn't want to.

I suppose my inkling is autism. He's almost 6 now and I get the feeling that school are just labelling him as a cry baby- when he's upset in the morning he is told that he's a big boy now and not to cry, which doesn't help him. He's always happy coming out of school, it's just the thoughts of going in in the morning and leaving me.

Who do I go to with my concerns? The GP or the school? Am I looking into it too much?

Sorry that was such an essay!

MattDillonsPants Tue 05-Apr-16 14:25:26

Have you spoken to his teacher about your concerns? I would do that first and ask for a chat with the SENCO who should observe him. School can ask for an assessment for him.

Or you can ask your GP for an assesment for him.

Xmasbaby11 Tue 05-Apr-16 14:28:24

Speak to the teacher and take him to the GP as well. Dd is 4 and haS anxiety issues so she gets support from nursery - it will continue when she is at school.

CinderellaFant Tue 05-Apr-16 15:23:18

Thank you, I've briefly mentioned to the teacher about him being anxious, but she has just brushed it off as him being an overly sensitive child. She has never brought anything up at parents meetings except to say that he is sensitive and lacking in confidence. I will make an appointment to see her and go through everything.

amarmai Sat 09-Apr-16 22:51:15

did the teacher indicate what she is doing to help him be more confident ?

lorisparkle Sat 09-Apr-16 23:19:40

I had some concerns about my DS (possible autism, ADHD, dyspraxia etc) and decided to see the GP and asked for a referral to a Paediatrician. It was the best thing I did. She referred us to a Speech and Language therapist who looked at whether he took things literally etc, she referred us to the OT who looked at his balance and gross motor skills and then once she had all the different reports decided upon a specialist questionnaire with a specialist Dr to look at a diagnosis of Autism. The diagnosis process was long but at the end of it we had a diagnosis of Dyspraxia and atypical autism.

Whilst the school was great and supportive - Autism is not in their remit as it is health not education. They did have input from all the professionals the Paediatrician referred DS to and they also organised an assessment from an Educational Psychologist and a specialist communication and interaction advisory teacher.

It was quite hard work getting his challenges recognised but I hope that it will help as he progresses through the school system.

Flowerbunty Mon 11-Apr-16 23:58:17

I would look into Asperger's syndrome. Go to gp with list of concerns and reasons as to why.
Your son sounds exactly like mine and we are currently going through assessment for ASD. But I would say the most important thing is to have the school on board because assessments are sent to the school for teachers to fill in, and they also need to be able to outline what you are seeing.

Good luck! Xo

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