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3yo deliberately wetting herself

(6 Posts)
reallywittyname Wed 16-Mar-16 11:41:12

Long, sorry! A bit of background - DD1 has just turned 3. She has been dry in the day for about 4 months, as we waited until she was over-ready because of DD2 arriving, but is still in pullups at night. Her baby sister is almost 9mo and we are about to move house. DD1 "got" toilet training really quickly and takes herself off to the loo when she needs to go. We've had positive reports from nursery as well.

DD1, if allowed, would change her outfit about twelve times a day if I let her. She is allowed to choose what she wears in the morning, and she prefers it if all her clothes match, from pants upwards. But I have said that she is not to change her clothes just because she feels like it, because it always results in clean clothes being chucked in the laundry and the "rejects" from the drawers being strewn all over her room and its me who has to tidy it all up. I have no issue if she wants to dress up in her Elsa dress or whatever, it's just the constant changing of clothes that's not on (unless they do get dirty or muddy in which case it's fine).

However, in the last few days she's started deliberately wetting herself in order to get a change of clothes. While I obviously don't want her going about in wet things, or with nothing on at all (although she probably would, she doesnt seem to feel the cold), I also don't want her to think this is acceptable behaviour - but if I give her new clothes, then she's got her own way and will carry on doing it if she realises it works. Yesterday, after the third time she did it I put her in a pull-up and told her she wasnt having any more clothes, which resulted in screaming and tears.

This morning I let her choose her clothes and told her that if she did a wee in her clothes then Mummy would be choosing her clothes. She has, so I went and got her deliberately mismatched clothes - which didn't go down too well, but she eventually did put them on.

What else can I do? Should I threaten her with nappies? Keep doing what I'm doing? We are moving house this week so the house is in total chaos. I suspect this is at the root of it but any advice is welcome. And all this while DD2 is suddenly bfing like a newborn...

Am just about to go out so will respond to replies later - thanks!

reallywittyname Wed 16-Mar-16 11:43:41

Meant to add I did put the heating on after the third time yesterday, I'm not a total meanie!

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne Wed 16-Mar-16 11:47:12

I think you are totally right about why she is doing it, and your response is right - ideally don't make a fuss, in fact barely comment, but do make it clear that if she wets herself she will get dry clothes but of course they will be chosen by mummy or daddy, whereas she gets to choose her clothes herself when she gets dressed in the morning.

You could even go so far as to buy her a pile of very generic cheap tracksuit trousers and plain T shirts (in mismatched colours of course) and plain pants to be kept in the bathroom and making those what she changes into if she has an accident, if you cba.


fuzzyfozzy Wed 16-Mar-16 12:23:53

Ditto with the non cute clothes for when she sets herself.

VagueIdeas Wed 16-Mar-16 12:26:23

How about a "dressing up box" (including "normal" clothes) that she can have free reign chopping and changing? That would stop her wardrobe and drawers getting messed up/clean clothes being thrown into the wash.

reallywittyname Wed 16-Mar-16 13:27:43

Thanks for the replies, schwab I like the idea of the plain stuff to change into and I also like the idea of the "dressing up box", will give those a go once we are moved in. She will probably love that!

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