wanting to know what you would do - behaviour

[1to10andstartagain]

ok going to set the scene:
7 year old has a birthday party in a large hall , its a secret play thing where parents are invited in afterwards to watch.

all parents are told the theme on the invite and what will be happening before by email, invited to stay with children in another room , age aprop is put at 4 years +

1 child invited is not yet 4 but aged 3 years 9 months ( family member ) comes with older brother ( she had suggested husband would come to help but he stayed home to do jobs instead)

Party starts , all parents in other room having tea and natter

birthday mum keeps checking and notices little one is play fighting and being disruptive , other children getting annoyed , party mum speaks to 3 + year old telling him if he doesn't listen or want to stay in he can come out and do something else, he says he wants to stay .

check 5 minutes later , still being disruptive , told has one more chance.

few minutes later birthday child comes with a split lip , party organiser tells mum it was youngest boy who head butted her when trying to stop him kicking her friend

what as the organiser/ birthday mum of the party would you have done / or would you do with this situation

[RidersOnTheStorm]

At the first sign of poor behaviour I'd have told the adult with the DC stand guard over him so he didn't get chance to do anything else.

[ImperialBlether]

I'd phone the little one's parent and ask them to pick him/her up - I'd send them home with a party bag and a boot up the bum.

[1to10andstartagain]

thankyou for replies

Didnt ask parent to watch over as it was no adults in room , childs parent was in other room having a cuppa, got very upset when her child was brought out and told he couldn't go back in party room but could stay to join party later

anyone else got thoughts about this ?

[NightWanderer]

Wait! You put a bunch of 4 year olds in a room to play unsupervised? Is it like Lord of the Flies for pre-schoolers? Not surprised it went bad if that is the case. A lot of kids that age would get 'over excited'.

[ImperialBlether]

It's always likely that a younger child will cause a problem at an older child's party. His mum should have been keeping an eye on her child. It's silly for her to get upset about it.

[NightWanderer]

But it sounds like the mum wasn't allowed in the room to supervise. I think kids that young need supervising. It just sounds like trouble was inevitable. Sorry if I misunderstood.

[1to10andstartagain]

ok

it was a 7 year olds party , supervised by drama teacher , only one younger child aged 3 years 9 months. parent was told that he was going to be youngest one there and was supposed to bring husband to supervise him if it didnt work out , but didnt and said he would be fine.

After he hurt 7 year old was bought out by birthday mum

other parent has said birthday childs mum behaved unreasonably

[ImperialBlether]

But why was her husband meant to be supervising the child when she (the wife) was there anyway?

I think the 3 year old child's mother is very unreasonable. Her child wasn't behaving and actually hurt the birthday child. What did she expect, that everyone would just put up with it?

[LIZS]

I'm confused, was the youngest's parent there or not. Personally I'd have said he was too young to participate unsupervised, whether sibling was there or not. He should have been distracted/removed earlier.

[1to10andstartagain]

youngest child was there with older brother and mother , father was going to come to take child out if he wasnt behaving / understanding and mother stay with other child ( aged 6)

And yes she believes he should have had another chance and rejoined the party. she was given the option of not attending and no apology to child who was hurt.

this has been really unpleasant , dont blame him but very cross at mother

[lljkk]

almost4yo had to be removed for rest of time. That was a balanced response.

Hope birthday-kid's lip is ok :(.

[1to10andstartagain]

thankyou for answers

as you may guess i am birthday mum and the other mum is a relative , this has started a massive tsunami of bad feeling from her to me and i wanted to get a balanced opinion - thankyou mumsnetters x

[NightWanderer]

I don't think you did anything wrong and I hope he is ok and his party wasn't spoilt by this. 3 is too young to attend an event for 6/7 year olds. It must have been hard for the teacher as well.

I guess the other mum was probably embarrassed both by her husband's no-show and her son's behaviour and is being defensive about it.

I'd just ignore it.