4 year old follows me EVERYWHERE

[danielledarcy1992]

Hi,
To give you a bit of background: I am a single mum to one 4 year old boy who has just started school. I have always worked so he's been used to being away from me for as long as he can remember. In fact last year I was full time (part time again now).
Anyway: for the last few months he has been inches behind me EVERYWHERE I go. It doesn't matter what I'm doing - even the dullest tasks he wants to be a part of.
I feel as though it's important to mention now that we do go out and do lovely things together and I make sure that we do spend quality time together at home also, playing games and drawing etc! But quite frankly I'd like to poo in peace!!! When I'm doing my make up, he'll stand an inch away from me, knocking my elbows, forcing the mascara wand in all directions but toward that of my lashes. I go to step back in the kitchen and there he is. Just everywhere... All of the time

I know to some this may seem really petty but it's driving me up the wall. I go to turn around or step backwards and I trip over him. So frustrating!

Does/has anybody else have/had a child like this?

Is there something I'm doing/not doing to encourage this behaviour?

Any advice would be appreciated

[ImperialBlether]

I had one of them. He's now living 150 miles away so don't worry, it doesn't last forever.

I had to give my son little jobs to do so that he'd physically move away. It used to bug me most when I was doing something like taking food out of the oven - I knew one day I'd get burned if he stayed really close, so I'd give him a job like setting the table so that he wasn't in the way. I made him count the eggs in the fridge once just to get him out of the way!

[ImperialBlether]

He's not still a child, living 150 miles away, btw!

[LucyLocketX]

My two year old is like this. Sometimes I just hug and kiss him until he gets fed up of me and decides to do something else. I've heard of love bombing. Not sure if this might be a variation of it.

[LucyLocketX]

Ps I know it's not always feasible to do this!

[daniellepd1992]

Honestly it's driving me crazy! I do the whole kissing and hugging and we laugh and he pushes me off and then when we've stopped he'll go back to following me around. Sometimes I even follow him just to show him how annoying it is but he doesn't get annoyed ???? pass me the wine!!!

[FrancesHaHa]

My 4 year old is like this too. I honestly didn't expect to not be able to go to the toilet alone by these age.

What I have noticed is that although she had gone to nursery from a young age, she has been more like this in the last few months, and I'm thinking it may be connected to the transition to school. She's old enough to have heard all the conversations over the summer (with other parents) about schools, and how she'll get on, and is now dealing with so many new things it must be unsettling.

I'm thinking it just needs time, and as mentioned giving tasks. But yes, it can be infuriating!

[TheUnwillingNarcheska]

My Mum said she should have called my sister Ivy as she followed her everywhere from a very young age.

Give them tasks and see if they will do the task in another room without you there. Or start them with a task in the same room as you but away from you.

[Ineedahug]

Can't offer any advice I'm afraid but I feel your pain! I'm a single mum to 2 DSs (9 and 6) and my DD who is 4. She has always followed me everywhere and constantly wants to "help" me do whatever it is I'm doing. On the positive side, she is now very proficient at tidying, emptying the dishwasher, putting the washing machine on and knows where pretty much everything is kept in the house eg loo rolls, so it's not all bad!!! In all seriousness I think she does it to increase her share of 'mummy time' as this way she gets me all to herself. I guess I've just got used to it but it isn't ideal.

[daniellepd1992]

Just to hear that some of somebody else is in the same boat has made me feel better. Thanks for all your responses ladies. Xx

[Delipatch123]

I'm so glad someone else is having this, I have 4 children 11,8,6 and a 4 yr old 5 in a couple of weeks, my youngest has always been a mummy's girl but has now got to the point where everywhere I move she's behind me, it's getting hard to even listen to my other children read ect as she's constantly saying mum this and mum that all the time I'm speaking or listening to my other children, they all get mummy time with me alone and we have family time playing board games and having fun ect it's got to the point where iv made a point of a speaking cushion just so no one shouts over another anyone else find it difficult. :(