I'm finding I'm coming to the end of my tether with my nearly 6 year old daughter. I have just been in tears in the school playground after dropping her off and pouring my heart out to another mum!
This morning's crazy emotional outburst began when I said 'come on DD1 let's do your hair'. 3 yr old sister runs up- 'do mine first mummy!' I could see DD1 bristling at this so I said 'No, I said I'd do DD1's hair first so that 's what I'm going to do', at which point DD1 runs away screaming, so I say 'Oh well, I'll do (DD2's) hair first as has run away.' She then runs back 'No,no, do mine, don't do hers, stop, do mine!!'. At this point I think, no, I'm not pandering to this ridiculousness so I carry on doing D2's hair and say calmly 'You'll have to wait now'. After this she becomes particularly vile... I hate you, you hate me, you love * more than me! you're so horrible, you're never doing my hair again, I'm not going to school, I'm leaving, etc etc. I remained calm and ignored as much as I could. Eventually we left for school but she was snarling at me and was horrible to her sister in the car- 'this is all your fault horrible little sister' at which point I did get cross and raised my voice- 'your actions are your choice, no one has made you behave in this way. We'll be talking about this after school'.
She cried, very pointedly, louder and louder, all the way to school, whilst DD2 sat quietly.
She only stopped crying when we got out of the car and other people were around, so she is not out of control. She doesn't want other people to see her behaving this way. I am riddled with guilt after dropping DD2 off at nursery. I feel like these emotional outbursts must be upsetting for her to watch and listen to.
DD1 clung into me in the playground and knows she has done wrong but I don't think she understands what exactly. She does believe in these situations that she has been hard done by and everyone has upset her and she's been treated badly. I did try to explain that we were all upset by her behaviour, we just weren't crying as loudly.
I would say she has always been challenging in this way- not naughty in the sense that she she does wrong acts, just highly emotional and unreasonable. I think that she is extreme and unusually over emotional and unable to see reason but friends try to convince me that she's a normal 5 year old and it's just her feisty personality. She is so different to her sister. At 3 yrs old, her sister seems to understand the links between behaviour and consequences more.
My husband and I are both in agreement that she is challenging and we try to remain calm but sometimes I do flip and I want her to realise that she can't carry on like this then still get to do nice things.
When we've said 'no story tonight after the way you behaved' this has led to hours of crying and tantrums- we've tried to explain- this is the consequence- after today it will be forgotten, but not if you don't accept this consequence. After so many times it just doesn't seem to sink in. I feel like there's a missing link and that no one apart from me and my husband understands.
If you have read this far thank you, you are very patient!
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Behaviour/development
Challenging 5 year old girl
10 replies
Tryhardmum76 · 26/06/2015 10:04
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pause4thought ·
07/08/2015 00:23
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