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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

DS 4yrs won't poo in loo

19 replies

uselesstechy · 10/05/2015 08:03

Hi, can anyone reassure me?! My DS age 4 absolutely refuses to use the loo for a poo, I have to put a nappy on him each time. He's never managed a poo in the loo, or a potty, but wees are fine, he happily takes himself off to the toilet. I'm getting a bit worried about him starting school in September - should I be pushing him a bit more? I've been v relaxed about it so far thinking he would get there by himself but maybe this won't happen. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you!

OP posts:

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Piratejones · 10/05/2015 09:26

This is so common that it’s absolutely, completely 100% normal. Don't panic, most likely he will wait until he is at home and in a nappy to poo.

Pushing it can't lead to a constipation cycle which then causes bowel impaction and is horrible. Just continue with you relaxed approach, first try and get him to stand in the bathroom while he is pooing his nappy, this is a first step.

momtothree · 10/05/2015 09:32

We got a sticker book he could only read on the toilet. He got the stickers for pooing. Once he went once he never looked back.

GraceGrape · 10/05/2015 09:33

My stepson was like this. He would only poo in a nappy so he just never did a poo during the day if he was at nursery or school. I think he started using the toilet when he was about 5. He is now 15 and certainly uses a toilet fine now

Marioswife · 10/05/2015 09:40

A very normal boy thing, my 9 year old was the same.

He'll hold it until a nappy is on don't worry.

ratsintheattic · 10/05/2015 09:44

My 11 year old was like this. Was never a problem at school. My youngest wouldn't go at all for weeks. Both fine pooers now

uselesstechy · 10/05/2015 10:02

Thanks everyone. Reassurance much appreciated that's a great idea too about starting him off by standing in the loo with a nappy on, thank you. And I will try and find a suitably enticing toilet sticker book!!

OP posts:

Piratejones · 10/05/2015 10:09

Good luck.

You could also get him to get some paper off, "wipe" (Over the nappy of course), flush the paper and wash his hands so he gets used to that after he's pooed.

cece · 10/05/2015 10:13

I found a Bristols Stool chart helpful. I put it on the wall next to the loo and then when done we would decide what no. had been produced.

uselesstechy · 10/05/2015 10:18

Thanks Pirate, that's a good idea. Cece, my son would love this Will investigate - oh, the glamour of my Sunday mornings!

OP posts:

uselesstechy · 10/05/2015 10:20

Thanks Pirate, that's a good idea. Cece, my son would love this Will investigate - oh, the glamour of my Sunday mornings!

OP posts:

Piratejones · 10/05/2015 10:25

Advice from people who have been there.

uselesstechy · 10/05/2015 10:28

Have found stool chart! Hilarious. Comes complete with the number of toilet roll pieces advised and pictures. May well have to invest, DS will be enthralled!

OP posts:

JasperDamerel · 10/05/2015 10:31

The stool chart is a great idea!

DS was like this. He would poo in a nappy when he got home from a full day of preschool. We talked about when he would be ready, and he told me that he would poo in the loo when he was "big four" and in reception. I started only putting his nappy on when he was in the bathroom, and keeping him there. We would wipe with toilet paper and flush his poo.

We then moved on the doing a poo in a nappy while sitting on the loo with the lid down. Then with the lid up. Then, when he was happy with that, I started cutting a hole in his nappy for him to poo out of, and increased the size of the home. Then I loosened the waist of the nappy. Eventually (after around 4 months) he was fine without the nappy. We watched the DVD of Frozen and had cake to celebrate.

cece · 10/05/2015 10:41

It was also popular with guests who used my downstairs loo

Piratejones · 12/05/2015 14:37

how are you getting on with this OP?

Honsandrevels · 12/05/2015 14:44

My dd2 would only poo in a nappy. We did something similar to jasper with the nappy hole but starting off in the potty as she found the toilet too scary. Eventually we ditched the cut out nappy, then the potty and now she's fine! It took a long time and the patience of a saint to get there though. Well the outward expression of patience, inside I was boiling with frustration!

squiz81 · 12/05/2015 21:33

My dh and I were discussing this today. We have to put a nappy on our ds 3.5 years to poo, drives us crazy. I also have to tell him to go and do a poo as he seems to be scared. So I don't want to push it too much and cause him to hold it in (worse than he already does).

This didn't work for us, but one tip I have read is that blowing up balloons uses the same muscles, so get them sitting on the loo blowing up balloons, then before they know it they have done a poo in the loo. My ds knew my game and obviously has super human sphincter control, no poo in the loo for us!

Honsandrevels · 13/05/2015 19:56

My dd2 was genuinely frightened of pooing anywhere other than the nappy. She used to take herself off on her own and always stood up to poo. To start with I started asking her to poo in the bathroom, then we moved onto trying to get her to crouch down to poo as she would have to on the potty or toilet. Just getting to the stage of her crouching in the bathroom took ages.

We read Poo Goes to Pooland a lot too, which emphasises that poo is happier being in the toilet. It also talks about how we know we need to poo.

Dd2 is 4.5 now and is still very controlling over when and where she will poo. She never goes at preschool and rarely.goes outside of our house.

MagentaVitus · 13/05/2015 21:50

Poo goes to pool and is genius. fully recommend!

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