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Is it normal for four year old to hurt his baby sister because he is bored?

(5 Posts)
maggiethemagpie Thu 15-Jan-15 11:02:23

Just that really, my son (four next month) has always hurt his baby sister, when she was born 15 months ago I expected it a little bit and the first year was really tough if they were together even if I was in the room he would push her, pinch her, hit her etc which obviously I told him off for. Now I would say that it's not quite so bad and sometimes he can be affectionate with her or tickle her but often he will push her out of the way, try to squash her and do things like bend her hand backwards when we are in the car (he will lean over in his car seat). He seems to do it more when he is bored. I know people may say he is doing it for a reaction but I can't not react when he is doing that, and will put him on the naughty step and explain why it is wrong and make him say sorry to her afterwards, which he will.

Anyway does this sound normal? I was thinking when she was first born that it wouldn't be unusual, and he was 2 1/2 then, but he is still doing it.

And any tips on how to stop him?

WowOoo Thu 15-Jan-15 11:08:02

I'd say it's normal. My older boy was a bit similar with his brother when they were younger sometimes.

Lots of distraction, chatting, singing and talking. I'd talk about how he feels when people twist his arm. I've been talking with my youngest about pinching etc
Really hard as they both want your undivided attention and approval at the same time. Argh! He'll grow out of it.

steppeinginto2015 Thu 15-Jan-15 11:21:12


as to how you deal with it.
1. as soon as he does it give all your attention to baby - Oh poor baby is your hand hurting, let mummy kiss it better etc, completely ignoring ds.
do the naughty step AFTER baby has had lots of attention, and I wouldn't go into long explanation, I would have a one sentence phrase 'hurting dd is not kind and it makes mummy sad' put him on the step and walk away. So it is all about lack of attention for him
2. At another time work on empathy - as pp said - how do you feel when someone hurts you, that is how she feels etc. I would use someone else as an example too, if you hit your friend how do they feel, so it isn't all about dd
3. Make sure he has times which are his focused times, and be very up front so he knows you want time with him. This is YOUR time, mummy wants to spend time with JUST YOU sometimes because she loves you, so we have this special time. What would you like to do? (offer options he likes, or he can chose in his own)
If you do that during nap time, make sure you don't say 'we can have special time because dd is sleeping'

And don't worry. This to will pass!

BarbarianMum Thu 15-Jan-15 13:38:03

Very normal unfortunately. It's called 'wanting a reaction/some attention.'

MrsCakesPrecognition Thu 15-Jan-15 13:44:44

Very normal. Poor Lulu.¶ms=OAFIAVgF&mode=NORMAL

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