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Behaviour of 4 years old DS

(3 Posts)
Raincloud5 Thu 18-Dec-14 14:20:32

We've had some problems with DS's behaviour for a while. At preschool he was hitting children and the preschool suspected there was more to it (I think from what they said, some kind of autism but they couldn't actually say). The preschool were really good trying to get him referred but the health visitors were really unhelpful and just dismissed most of what the preschool said but eventually they agreed to refer him to speech and language therapy. I haven't heard anything since though.

He's now been at school since September and there have been several incidents. He seems to have trouble controlling his emotions and understanding how to act in social settings. However the teacher said he was improving and he seemed to be making some friends.

A few weeks ago his younger brother was ill and I was in hospital with him for a few days. Since I came out his behaviour has become really bad again, hitting my DH and not listening to anything we say.

Today when dropping him off at school, I was confronted by the mother of a boy I thought my DS was friends with. Apparently he didn't want to come into school as he was scared of my DS. She threatened to report us to social services and take her DS out of school if anything happened again.

I'm really terrified now. I don't want my DS to be harming other children. I'm also worried for him but I don't know what to do. I've spoken to him many times about his behaviour but it doesn't seem to help much and it's difficult to use things like charts etc when most of the bad behaviour is at school. Also some of the time it just seems that he is getting over excited rather than trying to hurt someone. We are going on a parenting course we were referred to soon and at some point will have a meeting at the school (we were supposed to have one a few weeks ago but it was postponed.). I'm not sure what else we can do, especially on the short term as most strategies are likely to take some time. Should I pull him from the school and home educate him so he can't hurt other children?

Thank you for reading this (sorry it's so long) . I'd be grateful for any advice.

Heyho111 Fri 19-Dec-14 20:37:05

Parents are ridiculous sometimes. And that was ridiculous and horrid what she said to you.
Your sons behaviour in school can and should only be dealt with in school. School need to put stratagies in place to help him.
You are a good parent. Sometimes a child has difficulties which they are born with and need outside support to help. There is nothing you did or didn't do that caused this.
Push for the meeting with school and perhaps ask for a paediatrician referral from your hv.
But that parent will be dramatic with everything connected with her S. Try to ignore.
Big hug.

ma76 Sat 20-Dec-14 08:31:59

Hi. So sorry you are going through this. My ds is 3.9 and doing exactly the same - you may have seen my thread. I will pm you later today or tomorrow if that is ok?

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