sons tantrums and general behaviour very worried

[amyflo]

My son is 19 months old and everytime I take him out he literally runs rings around me. I try to take him to activities with other kids his age and he just throws tantrums.
Today I took him to story time/ arts and crafts and he threw a fit because I took scissors of him and all he wanted to do was hide and get into things he's not allowed to its frustrating cause when I see other kids there his age they listen to their parents they are just generally better behaved I'm at my wits end to the point that I'm going to stop taking him to these activities. I know that it seems like normal toddler behaviour and maybe it is but if any of you have advice on how I can improve our maybe deal with his behaviour better it would be greatly appreciated. Reading this post to my self it sounds petty even to me but please understand it's not just me having a moan

[Goldmandra]

That sounds very stressful

Do you think you use consistent, age appropriate, behaviour management techniques?

[amyflo]

Probably not I don't really know any techniques I try to explain why I have to take dangerous things from him but other than that I'm very unsure what to do.

[Goldmandra]

That's fair comment. At this age there isn't a lot you can do. I just wondered if you're communicating clearly and using distraction and redirection rather than punishment, which really isn't appropriate.

Some children just are whirlwinds and that can make their parents feel like they must be doing something wrong. Other children may be listening and cooperating more because they have different personalities.

Does he understand no?

[amyflo]

Yes he understands no, I've tried distracting him and redirection currently trying ignoring his tantrums and if that doesn't work distraction . He doesn't get punished his dad thinks he should be punished but I've said no. I suppose this probably is just his personality that I'll just have to deal with and hope he grows out of.

[EmbarrassedPossessed]

19 months is still quite young to expect consistent behaviour at things like arts/crafts activities. Perhaps he might be better suited to some more active/physical classes and groups for now?

Also, try not to compare him to other children you see at these sorts of things. You don't know how old they are for starters, and they might be having one good day!

At the moment, all you can do with "discipline" is repeat the same process every time he does something you don't want him to do. Firmly and calmly tell him something like "we don't hit" or "sit down please" or whatever applies - try and use a positive phrase explaining what he should do, rather than saying "no". Then redirect and distract him, or possibly remove him from the situation, calmly, if absolutely necessary. It will seem like it isn't having much effect in the short term, as it is a long term strategy but it does work. Punishment is completely pointless at this age - he won't understand it and it will just make him fearful.

[EmbarrassedPossessed]

Oh, and I forgot to mention that, if you're not already, praise him when he gets things right even if they are only small things. That way he will know what is a good thing to do, as well as what you don't want him to do.