8 month old suddenly refuses to sleep alone...

[midnight1983]

Just as it says really! He is learning to crawl, pull himself to stand and teething all at once and seems to have developed some separation anxiety too. Now he refuses to be put down in cot to sleep and will only sleep with us. Anyone else experienced this? Does this phase end or should I get tough?

[Member931420]

Has someone told him that there's Monsters under the bed?

[midnight1983]

They better not have!

[melisma]

If our experience is anything to go by, then yes it's a phase and will end-we had exactly this with our DS. Google 9 month sleep regression.

[rootypig]

Separation anxiety definitely does pass, and ime it worked (and I felt better) to deal with it with a wee bit more reassurance and contact than forcing the issue. Ie if you can bear to sleep with him, then do, and don't think you're making a habit of it - as long as you keep trying to put him down in his own bed then that will remain 'normal' in your mind. So stick to the normal routine, have him sleep in his cot as much as possible, but don't battle over it if he's upset. It will pass.

[Hoggle246]

I've just gone through this with 10 mo ds. We did gradual retreat sleep training which worked, he felt reassured that we weren't leaving him but ultimately went to sleep and stayed asleep! I also made an effort to play games/read to him in his cot during the day so it became a positive place again.

However ds does wake between 4.30-5.30 and at that point won't settle again by himself so comes in with us to sleep for another hour. I'm fine with it, could do with longer asleep but never mind!

[midnight1983]

These responses are very reassuring! Thank you

With gradual retreat, did you wait until baby was more content to start?

[Hoggle246]

No we started gradual retreat as soon as we figured out that it was separation anxiety causing the problems. We had 10 mins of crying on the first night until he realised we weren't leaving the room, so he calmed down and self settled. Since then it's very rare for him to cry when he's put down for the night although he will occasionally if he's overtired. Ds could self settle before the anxiety happened so I think all he needed was to know we were there, it wasn't sleep training in the sense that we were teaching him a new skill. Just reassurance was needed so if that's the case with your little one I'd start as soon as poss. We did this about 6 weeks ago and now we put him down and leave room but hover outside the door to shush if needed so he still knows we're there. It's heartbreaking when they don't want you to leave isn't it?

[midnight1983]

It is! Tbh, my son has never been very good at self settling so I wonder if I should wait a bit to try and 'train' him. He tends to cry with lots of stamina and gets very angry once he realises that I won't be cuddling him to sleep...