How on earth can I discipline my 19mo??

[Rockinghorse123]

DS is 19mo he, like any toddler can be naughty and we have just started with the dreaded temper tantrums.

Tantrums I can handle. I make sure he is safe then let him get on with it. This seems to work and he gives up once he realises he's not getting attention.

However he has started pushing other children and biting me. This is obviously unacceptable but nothing I try seems to work. Raising my voice doesn't bother him. He likes going on the naughty step.

He is such a loving funny little boy 90% of the time but I'm worried other parents won't want their kids to play with him if he get labelled as naughty.

Does any one have any good advice or methods of what I could do? TIA

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Yeah, you have to find something he doesn't like. Like picking him up and taking him home when he does it. Things that are no fun to him. It is more management than discipline.

[Patilla]

I started doing time out/thinking corner/naughty chair/call it what you want, around that age with DS.

Many people said it was too early but it was more to set it up as a useful tool later and worked with him.

DD is currently 16 months and I'm not sure she will take to something like that so early as she is a lot less verbal than DS.

I'd certainly recommend saying a clear and firm (but not shouty) 'no' and taking him away from the situation with me for a while and quickly and simply say "you shouldn't do xx it's naught and makes mummy sad" etc. I wouldn't necessarily push saying sorry at this age it's a bit meaningless for them.

[Sleepwhenidie]

What pp's said ^...it's more management than discipline at that age, if your displeased response isn't having the impact you'd like then removing them from a situation, either for a little time out (without any attention) or the removal of an enjoyable experience/event (taken home from soft play/friends house/park) is the best way IME.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Oh and it needs to be immediate-withdrawal of future privileges (even a few hours after the misdemeanour) will just be confusing for them. and never threaten anything you know you can't/won't follow through on - same as for rewards or nice promises .

[Rockinghorse123]

Thank you for your responses. I'm finding it really difficult to handle because nothing seems to work! He just laughs if I tell him off and he likes going to the naughty step. I never realised such a young child could be so defiant! I rue the day he learned to say "no"

I have taken toys away and he doesn't like that so taking him home when he pushes might work.

He's only bitten me so far but it's in temper so he knows it's naughty and he's doing it deliberately rather than because he's teething etc IYSWIM.

I know it's a stage but it's just hard to see the end!

[HumphreyCobbler]

It will pass. You are doing the right thing by making your expectations clear. You have to hover at baby groups to make sure other children are ok .

management not discipline is a very good way of putting it.

[Rockinghorse123]

YEs I hover all the time whilst constantly repeating "kind hands" haha. I'm just waiting for a thread to come on MN about a crazy woman running around a soft play chanting "kind hands" to a child who totally ignores her .

Definitely going to try all the suggestions. I'll let you know how we get on. Thanks again.

[Lovelydiscusfish]

We have always capitalised on dd's sense of shame/ guilt - so spoken to her about how the behaviour has made us sad, and therefore encouraged her to apologise. It has worked for us so far (she is 2.4) and so no need for punishments as such. But we are perhaps just lucky - and who knows what the future may bring?

[Jenninlw]

My daughter is 19 months old. When she bit me I picked her up said no biting and sat her down in the living room away from me until she had calmed down. When she smacked me I did the same thing. I just put her away from me and ignore her for a few minutes until she has decided to calm down. She knows fully that both are naughty and it's often for attention when I'm cooking or won't do what she wants immediately. I've taught her the sign language for sorry to give her the chance to acknowledge she has been naughty and understands very well when I tell her that mummy doesn't like it when she does that and no cuddles - the bad behaviour is usually for attention so by removing the attention and making it clear seems to work well for us.

Saying then when she's teething she's just a bloody nightmare all day! And it's one apology after another!!! Doesn't last long though thank god!