5yr old with behaviour problems?

[Lusmummy]

Hi, I'm hoping someone can help with some words of wisdom!

My son is in primary 1 and will be 6 this year. We've had problems with his behaviour from a very young age and things are getting out of hand now. He's had an educational psychologist since nursery and we felt assured that once he went to school (and if the behaviour continued) a lot more would get done but nothing has. He's very very hyper active, we can barely hold his attention for long and its forever getting him into trouble. When we try to get him to sit and focus on something its a huge struggle for him and he fidgets constantly. He can be very aggressive too and has terrible outbursts. Then two minutes later he can be so sweet and loving (it doesn't last long!). Its like Jekyll and Hyde! We've always been very firm (but fair) on him, any threat we give we carry it through and he's never been allowed to get away with unacceptable behaviour but he'll continue to misbehave regardless. Despite this we've still done all sorts of parenting programmes, followed behaviour steps, behaviour charts, naughty steps, everything that's been suggested to us but he doesn't respond to a thing. We've never had a good day, or a day without incident which is pushing his dad and myself close to the edge. I'm in my final year of uni and I really don't think i'm going to make the last 5 months, I feel close to completely giving us. I was in tears twice on mothers day alone, it's just getting too much for us both to deal with and we're scared how far its going to go before we get support?

The school and psychologist wanted him to see speech and language therapy first (We had an initial appointment where they decided he needed a full assessment but 12 weeks later still no appointment) - his speech is great but communication skills are pretty bad. He can speak very inappropriately and struggles to hold a conversation with people. He's also very literal, he just says everything as he sees them and has no idea if he offends or not. For example if i'm talking to someone who's a bit bigger weight wise he'll say 'goodbye fat person'. He doesn't laugh or anything because he thinks there's nothing wrong with it. He can be very emotionless, something the school picked up on very quickly. He gets into trouble a lot at school and doesn't have a lot of friends. The one he does have he's forever fighting with! He doesn't have any friends outside of school apart from his cousins and its not through a lack of trying. He's just never mingled well with our children. I've also lost friends because of his behaviour and their lack of understanding!

We both just do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. No one seems to know how desperate we are and i'm so scared to be completely honest on how i feel in case i'm judged and it reflects badly on me. Sorry if i've completely waffled, I hope someone can offer some help on where we should go next. Thank you for reading if you've got this far xx

[AwfulMaureen]

Go to the GP and ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician. This is taking too long for you. I feel for you. x

[babypup]

I feel awful for you, there is nothing worse than being worries about your child and getting lack of support. I understand cause of a situation I'm in currently with my son, albeit a slightly different back story. I didn't want to read and run, so I hope you get advice from some mums's that have direct experience with similar behaviour/routes to proper assessment. I agree with the previous poster about taking this to your GP and getting a route to a Paediatrician. There may be reasons underlying this behaviour that can be better understood and managed. Best of luck to you xx

[JoinTheDots]

Sounds a lot like my DD (although she is 3 years 7 months). A lot like her. We have been referred to a developmental paed recently and are waiting for the appt to come though now. Go to your GP, do not be fobbed off. There is help and support out there when you get in the system.