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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Age 7 gun and war obsession

17 replies

eosmum · 31/03/2014 13:14

DS is 7, my only boy after two girls. He seems to be gun, war, killing obsessed. How normal is it? He has a lego star wars game for the wii and has watched the star wars movies. But that is all. No other violent movies or games, are they too much?

He saw the news the other day about Ukraine, and kept saying how he wanted to go there and kill everyone it would be "awesome". He came home from school the other day with some work he had done in school about plans for the weekend, which included one about getting a knife and killing everyone. When I asked him about it he said it was a joke and other boys had written similar sentences, though none of the boys whose mothers I was speaking to.

I've tried talking to him about how terrible guns etc are, but he's not seeing my point. He is waiting for dyspraxia and dyslexia assessments. What do you think? Am I overthinking it? He's scared of Horrid Henry books and some of the characters in the Disney movies, like the witch in tangled, but the gun and knife thing worries me. Thanks

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itsnothingoriginal · 31/03/2014 13:27

My 9 yr old DS is also very into weapons of all kinds! We have all manner of swords, guns and combat gear and he will talk quite often about war and killing BUT all his friends are interested in weapons and video games that involve violence so I assume it's quite a normal stage. Because DS is very kind and loving at heart we can and do discuss these things rationally and as he's getting older he is increasing in empathy.

It may be worth sharing your concerns when he's assessed but I genuinely think although upsetting to hear him talk like that, it's not something to worry over.

PirateJones · 31/03/2014 13:40

Don’t make a big thing about it and it will eventually pass.
Although I might get a lot of flack for sayignt his, and accused of "gender profiling" most boys really do seem to go through a stage of liking weapons. He is too young to understand really what war and death really is, in his head it's just goodies and badies fighting. so although he's saying these things, he doesn't really understand the weight of his words.

The worst thing to do is make a big thing out of it and have it become a taboo subject, because that's just going to peek his interest even more.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 31/03/2014 13:50

Sounds very normal/ many boys go through this stage, I know my son did, but thankfully only lasted a year or two before he lost all interest.

PirateJones · 31/03/2014 14:12

That last sentence of my post should read:
The worst thing to do is not make a big thing out of it and have it become a taboo subject, because that's just going to peek his interest even more.

eosmum · 31/03/2014 14:14

Thanks guys, he can be very kind and sensitive also, but it's such a relief to hear that it's normal.

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atthestrokeoftwelve · 31/03/2014 14:26

I have several friends who have a very anti-toy gun attitude.

None of them have sons.

PirateJones · 31/03/2014 14:29

I'm confusing my self with my last line in the post, it was right the first time.

eosmum · 31/03/2014 17:26

You're fine pirate I understood you perfectly both times:) I'm not anti gun toys really I've bought nerf guns, it's the talk really that worried me. I bought buggies and dolls and kitchens for him, which he loved at the time but the "boy" stereotype surfaced anyhow.

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DeWe · 31/03/2014 19:52

I have the same with my 6yo ds.
Two big sisters, into their dolls etc... along came ds who would adapt the buggy into a tank

I think the conversation he had with dd1 (age 12 at the time) summed their positions up completely.
Ds had just been given a box full of plastic soldiers and tanks.
Ds: Will you play war with me?
Dd1: I don't think war is very nice. Perhaps I could be somewhere that's neutral?
Ds: Great. We'll play Pearl harbour and you can be the Americans.
Dd1 was totally until he explained.

Lottiegal · 01/04/2014 13:21

So glad I found this thread as my 6yr old is the same and has been for almost a year. Was getting concerned as he too picks things up on the news. We had two Russian students staying with us and I was paranoid he was going to interrogate them about it! Some of his friends mums have instigated that he has made their sons into war thirsty boys too :-/

matana · 01/04/2014 13:35

Ds is like this at 3.4yo which is really worrying me. I have told him I don't like guns, but he makes them out of anything he can get his hands on. He has also started using a lot of aggressive language like "kill" and "die". For the life of us we don't know where this is coming from. We never use this kind of language and encourage being gentle. He watches nothing on tv except cbeebies. It had coincided with him mixing with older dc at nursery and one little boy in particular. I am now just playing it down in the hope it will pass and a part of me thinks it must be very normal development.

matana · 01/04/2014 13:37

He has also begun squashing bugs...

PirateJones · 01/04/2014 14:25

Matana it's all normal, my daughter went through the KILL / die stage. just ignore it, pretend you have heard what he says at all.

Lottiegal · 03/04/2014 22:55

My son's teacher at his patents evening tonight has said she thinks he is too obsessed by war and guns. They have now banned any war themed games in the playground. It does seem to me boys are less and lees able to express themselves these days

DeWe · 04/04/2014 09:37

Problem with banning them is they become more attractive, rather than less attractive.

I didn't realise until I had a boy that, much as I dislike him "playing guns" it is actually better than "playing swords"-which I have rarely heard anyone complain about. Simple reason-guns they "fire" from a distance, "swords" are much more likely at infant level to end up with an injury.

And my experience of watching ds and his friends playing war games is they spend most of the time creeping from one hideout to another and relatively little actually pretending to fire-very similar to the game of spies I used to play at that age.

moggiemay · 04/04/2014 12:54

My ds 4yo is obsessed by anything army, guns, grenades, killing everyone but has no idea what it really means, seems to have all the boys at preschool shooting each other! I was anti guns but I think it's better to let him play and gradually grow out of it. Was told on some training this week that there is research that since guns have become taboo toys there has been an increase in gun crime, don't know where it comes from but made me feel better!

BocaDeTrucha · 05/04/2014 04:17

Some of my year 3 boys lady year had a huge gun obsession which lasted all year. They even kept special sticks in their trays which were their guns. All playrooms were spent guerilla-style rolling around on the floor and hunting each other down in a type of hide and seek game.

It says a bit obsessive at one point but I see them now and the games have moved into something else... All quite normal I think!

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