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4 year old started scratching dad and nursury staff

(4 Posts)
Trinataylor Mon 03-Feb-14 19:57:48

I have a toddler who is turning 4 in two weeks. He was adopted by us at 22 months old having been taken at birth so no horrific history, one set of foster parents then us.
We have had a horrible year so far, his grandmother who he adores and used to go to one day per week nearly died of meningitus so he is now at nursury 4 days per week instead of three plus the worry about her health and obviously the effect that has had on myself and my husband. His dad has been unwell for a week nothing serious but meant he hasnt been able to play as much. He has met the new childminder who will be looking after him after school one day per week when he goes to big school in september. He has also started gymnastics with a new group of children for one hour without me which he loves but is really struggling leaving me at the door and has resulted in alot of crying. That has now affected him when dropping him off at nursury in the mornings he has started crying then too. The worst part is he is getting really angry and started scratching staff at nursury and his dad and on occasion me. Any advice at all? Am I pushing him too hard? how do I re-settle him? what can I do to stop the scratching nursury are not been very supportive at all or understanding.
thank you for your help.

ianleeder Mon 03-Feb-14 20:22:21

Sounds like he has a lot on with the change of environment. I suggest re building the family bond and do things or play together after nursery or weekend. Does he have a friend at nursery that you can arrange play date with? Or a teacher he likes? How is his behaviour at nursery?

Trinataylor Tue 04-Feb-14 16:01:50

Thank you Ian that is really helpful advice!! I will do all of that!
Behaviour at nusury is that he is very unconfident so it has taken him a long time to settle. He works better one to one with adults but is getting there with the children. These past two days though he has become un engaged with any activity, disruptive by been noisy during story time etc etc and then has this tantrum that ends in scratching.
They aren't been particularly helpful either!

ianleeder Tue 04-Feb-14 22:53:41

He obviously prefers one to one attention in a less noisy environment. I suggest speaking to his key worker and ask if they give him that extra support. Some kids just don't like noise and prefer one to one attention or put in a smaller group. There must be a friend who he likes to hang out with? Maybe arrange play date so he can have a friend so he feels secure at school.

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