DD will be starting school in September. I posted a thread on the primary ed board yesterday asking what sort of things she should be able to do by the time she starts school and most replies have included that she needs to be able to ask for things, confident enough to put her hand up in circle time etc. This is worrying me as, over the past few weeks, I have noticed that DD is very timid. For example, at birthday parties, she may be one of the first to get to the person handing out party bags or balloons but will be one of the last to receive one; at a music group we go to, when they get out the buckets of instruments, she is often one of the first to get to the bucket but rarely ends up with a drum (her instrument of choice) as she gets pushed out of the way; when we've had similar aged children over to play recently they have bounced up to me asking for a drink, telling me that they don't like water & want juice, telling me that they don't like X part of their tea, asking me to come & do A, B or C. DD would never ask for something. If we're at someone's house and she wants a drink then she either waits until offers or comes & whispers to me that she is thirsty at which point I tell her to ask and she mutters into the ground that she would like a drink. Also, when I went to watch her ballet class at the end of term I noticed (as I did at the end of the summer term) that she rarely gets commented on as she's not demanding attention (eg, "look at my beautiful arms, miss") or requiring attention due to being naughty. Instead, she just quietly gets on with what she has been asked to do but will then tell me in a sad voice at the end of the lesson that the teacher didn't notice how she did whatever it was.
Like this, I don't think she's going to survive in a class of 30. What do I do? I'm not shy and, when I'm nervous, I just get louder & chattier so don't know how to help her. I'm conscious that her behaviour is, in part at least, my fault as I have always emphasised to DD that she shouldn't push, if she waits patiently will get a turn etc but I dont think that that approach is doing her any favours.
Any tips for making her more assertive without making her a demanding brat?
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Behaviour/development
Tips for making 4yo DD more assertive
4 replies
Coveredinweetabix · 04/01/2014 21:09
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