DD (7m) has never been the kind of baby you can easily put down... and now at 7m she is starting to show signs of real separation anxiety, crying when I leave the room, not letting DH feed her if I am there as an option etc... It is hard but I have been assuming it is a little bit just her personality at the moment and a little bit of proper separation anxiety kicking in at this age.
FWIW she is INCREDIBLY smiley and engaged with my friends and complete strangers alike, she is happy and interested in people AS LONG AS I AM THERE and (preferably) holding her...
So I hadn't really thought it was a problem.
But clearly lots of my friends and acquaintances do!!!
I have an ante-natal group of 11 other mums, ALL of whom can happily leave their babies/pass their babies around when we have meet-ups... so the mums can have a few minutes break/chat while someone else holds the baby or (now that they are getting bigger) pop the baby down on a rug to stare at play with the other babies for a while.
I can't do this. DD tolerates it for about 6 seconds and then the face crumples.
People are commenting that I should just leave her to cry... they haven't heard the way DD can cry!!! Full-throttle, head-back, purple-faced ROAR. Which I don't think is fair on DD, on the person trying to hold her, or on the other babies. So when she starts to cry, I pick her up. Looks are passed amongst the other mums. I get the impression that some of them think I am trying to prevent DD 'mingling'; and what upset me last week was that one of them said I am 'giving' DD separation anxiety :(
I am SO keen for her to be a sociable little thing, which is why I am so thrilled when she beams at people, waves at them and generally interacts - from her safe distance. But I am starting to worry that I should be pushing her out into the world more. We do a couple of baby groups each week and she loves them but I don't take her to play groups where she could 'play' with other babies - should I try this?? I do meet up with other friend who have babies and DD beams happily at the babies; I don't think she is anti-social but I am getting so paranoid :(
A cousin of DH's commented the other day that DD seems a 'mummy's girl' and that she seems 'very dependent' on me... well, she is 7m old!!! I thought they were meant to be dependent?! And I honestly feel as if I have responded to DD's need for personal space. A while ago she was very scared of strangers but I just rode it out, never forced her to interact with anyone, and now she is happy as Larry to beam at strangers in the shops etc. So I think we will ride out this separation anxiety too??
But is it my fault, in a way?
I do endless peekaboo etc...
Is there more I could do?
I feel as if people are judging me (which is fine) and my lovely cheery baby (which is not fine :( as I think babies are all different?)
Any advice?
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Is DD's separation anxiety my fault? Have I 'given' it to her? :(
28 replies
emeraldgirl1 · 17/10/2013 09:43
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