2 week old restlessness

[LindsayS79]

Hi all

I have a beautiful 2 week old daughter who suffers from reflux and trapped wind. She sleeps well after her last feed at 10/11pm, however the time between 5-10pm is a nightmare.
She will just not settle no matter how few naps she's had during the day. So many people tell me this is pretty normal behaviour for a newborn and that they are generally unsettled in the early evening.
So my questions are:

1. Is this indeed normal?
   
2. If so, do they get better at settling?
   
3. What do I do during this period? I don't want to get into a bad habit of just holding her for hours on end.
   

Any advice is greatly appreciated. I'm not looking forward to the hubby going back to work and me dealing with it on my own every night!!

[cupcake78]

My dd is 3 weeks old and is significantly more unsettled in the evening. She is ff and still fusses at night but nothing like as much as she did when bf. Dd tends to sleep well at night, we have the odd night from hell but I class a 2-3hr stretch of sleep at night good at this age.

Things that help us is a bath. Trying to get as much food into her sooner rather than later and taking her for a walk out each day/fresh air.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

It could be normal baby behaviour, in fact there is nothing in your post to suggest there is a problem that you can or should fix however I think its worth getting her checked for tongue tie.

Its also normal for her to want to be held. She's spent 9 months with you and probably doesn't even realise yet that you are separate people

You can't hold a baby too much either. By responding to her needs now you are giving her the confidence to know that you are always there. There is no such thing as creating a bad habit either. Both of mine were held, in fact I bought a sling with dd because she really didnt want to be put down. She now happily sleeps in her own room every night.

Have a look for the book Baby Calming by Caroline Deacon. Rather than being prescriptive, it explains why your baby is behaving in the way they are and gives you the confidence to find your own routine.

As for hubby going back to work. Just make sure you've got your phone, TV remote and plenty of drinks and snacks to hand and get him to bring dinner home with him

[LindsayS79]

Thanks both. I'll look out for that book today. After reading a lot of the gina ford/baby whisperer type books I'm scared to form bad habits but I'm glad to hear that isn't always the case!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Don't forget that Gf is childless and neither of those books are evidence based. If you are bfing I'd give them both a really wide swerve. Both are on the kellymom list of books to avoid

[notadoctor]

My DD was similar at this age - I'd recommend an evening bath followed by a massage (is there a baby massage group you could try near you?) Also for us, lots of evening cuddles did seem to work with no lasting bad habits! She's 20 months now and a very settled and independent soul - I'm the one asking her for cuddles now!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Agree a bath followed by baby massage, night clothes on and a big feed and cuddle sounds like a perfect evening

[LindsayS79]

Unfortunately bf didn't work out so ff it is. She's actually fast asleep at the moment after a nice walk but I know carnage will happen soon.
Thanks for all the advice, so lots and lots of cuddles it is! I'm learning so much each day so it's good to know that they don't need to follow a schedule to be little angels...!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

The book Babycalming works whichever way you feed your baby.

Hope everything is ok this evening

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

And don't feel like you have to explain why you ff. it ain't nobodies business but your own

[LindsayS79]

Thank you so much. She's actually slept since 8.30pm which is a first! I'll certainly pay for it through the night 😬
I must say it's been great to sit and chill with the hubby! Guess we need to just go with the flow with newborns!

[Splatt34]

She is very little & this is totally normal. DD2 is 7 weeks old and for the first time the last 2 nights I've been able to put her down to sleep from 7:30 to 10:30. Gina Ford is useful for a bit of info about how babies work but her routines are hideous and un practical. I knew a lady who barely left the house for more than an hour to fit her schedule.

Enjoy your cuddles, already DD2 is not a tiny new born :-(

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I knew a lady who barely left the house for more than an hour to fit her schedule. me too splatt. Routines can be so restricting can't they? One of the joys of babies is that they are so portable. As long as they are fed and changed, have you and are warm and comfortable they really are happy.

Lindsay was going to suggest getting her outside each day if you can. Could you manage the first bottle outside? Some people find that by taking their Lo outside first thing, it helps the baby to start to differentiate between night and day. At this time of year a walk before bed can be useful too . Don't worry if you can't manage it though, I know newborn days can pass in a blur!

How was the rest of the night last night and how have you been today?

[LindsayS79]

Hi

Unfortunately we had a really bad night last night. The little soul was unsettled all night. I don't think it helped that she slept from 5-8pm last night, but it's all trial and error.
She's not slept much today so hopefully it's better tonight!
I have been trying to get out and about everyday with her to get her used to sounds etc. I think she may be going out for a walk soon as she's pretty unsettled at the moment but looks shattered. Just wish they could talk to tell us what's wrong!!!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

When you say she is unsettled, is it just waking regularly for feeds or full on screaming all night?

Going out is fine, but don't forget to look after yourself and rest. You've had a labour to recover from and a massive shift in hormones, in many cultures you wouldn't have to lift a finger for at least 6 weeks

Thought you might like 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and the the Isis website.

Don't forget too that we are the only mammal that expects our babies to sleep separately. Waking frequently at 2 weeks is perfectly normal too. There is a big growth spurt at 2 weeks and again at 6 weeks. Its also in her interests to stay close to you, that's what's she's programmed to do

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Forgot to say. Try googling Youtube Richard and Judy Happiest Baby. I have trouble linking to it but its a great technique for settling crying newborns. Might just help you to get through tonight

[LindsayS79]

Thanks for those tips! She just whimpers a lot and cries even when I sit cuddling her. I think it could be trapped wind now, plus the fact that she is refusing to sleep at all during the day. I'm suspecting she's overtired...

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Is there a local bfing group you can go to or a local BFC? I think it would be useful for a BFC to observe a complete feed and to check for tongue tie.

Not sleeping in the day at this age isn't very good, she could well be overtired. What have you tried? Will she sleep if you swaddle her? You might have to do this with a thin cotton sheet and just her nappy? Have you tried white noise and wearing her in a sling/pushing in the pram/driving in the car? If you put a tshirt DH has worn in her Moses basket it can sometimes help them to settle. Yours won't work as it will just smell of milk.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Have a look at these videos too. Do your feeds look anything like the good drinking one?

[LindsayS79]

Hi, yep swaddling works well at night. However she is just so alert during the day. Going out a walk helps settle her for a while but she stays awake and wants to look at everything!
Mornings are her best time if she naps. Other than that she's wide awake!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Really sorry Lindsay got mixed up with another thread. It could still be worthwhile getting the tt checked as it can cause problems no matter how you feed your baby. Have a look at the milk matters link and see if its similar to what you are experiencing. Milk matters also do a virtual diagnosis service.

Have you tried changing her milk too? Some babies are just better suited to different brands

If its any consolation my DS was very alert and he's doing really well at school. Not much help to you though when you are sleep deprived now.

Apologies again

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

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