terrified of grandad - help

[gingernutlover]

dd 8 months SCREAMS and shakes and goes all weird whenever she sees my dad, she doesn't do this to anyone else we know. is there anything I can do about it as he is beginning to get upset about it.

[gingernutlover]

please help as we have to take her to a bigfamily dinner at w end and HE will be there

[zippitippitoes]

Is it a waste of time to ask if you've got any idea why..is he very loud, bearded, big, small, wears a baseball cap, piercing blue eyes, coughs or sneezes loudly, err smells???

dd1 was terrified of men but particularly those with piercing blue eyes..use to scream like mad when a friend of mine's husband came in ..we worked out that iut was the eyes and probably to do with the fact that shge saw an orthopaedic surgeon with eyes like taht

[WigWamBam]

I wonder if he's getting himself wound up about it and she's picking up on his anxiety? Babies are very, very sensitive to moods.

The only thing you can really do is make sure your dad knows that it's not personal - she's a baby, they are sometimes unfathomable creatures, but she isn't capable of doing anything to deliberately upset him.

[gingernutlover]

thanks for your thoughts

he does have glasses and dark hair - unlike me and dh

also, she is very sensitive to my feelings when I am having a bad day with the pnd she picks up on it almost immediatly so perhaps sees the signs in others easily - he is also on AD's

also she doesn't really see men on a regular basis - only dh really

I am planning on taking her to the family thing but asking him not to come up to her, just get her used to being in the same room????????

[gingernutlover]

also, she has always seemed uneasy with him since she was old enough to really react. has always cried after him cuddling her for a bit, but this is on a diff level completely - she's like banshee and starts shaking and flinching

[zippitippitoes]

It could be his glasses..surely you can't ask him not to come near her,


perhaps if he is sitting then you can approach him and stay standing and she has something from him she likes like keys or whatever and you could have a little quiet see what grandad has and try and get her laughing..but make sure he isn't too loud and scary

[gingernutlover]

yes - mgood idea. thanks will try to ask him to be very passive - he is normally quite a loud person!!!!!

[zippitippitoes]

tell him it's a normal stage of development being a bit unsure of people she doesn't see everyday and she is like this with some of your friends (which it is really, but she is perhaps a bit more shy and sensitive)

[estobi1]

My little girl was similar around men as she is predominantly around women. Every time she saw her Grandad shew would cower or cry but she has got over it now so hopefully it is a phase which should pass. I think that is good advice to ask him to be passive and your baby should come round good luck!

[unicorn]

Are you happy/relaxed around your dad? maybe your dd is picking up on your anxieties - just a thought.