Will she ever sleep properly????? Help!!!!

[IM226]

My DD will be 2 next month and we have never yet cracked her sleep patterns.

She has never napped well unless in the car/buggy/completely exhausted and crashes out.

She was exclusively bf until about 12 months and used to feed to sleep. She has gone through phases of sleeping for several hours before waking but always reverts to 2 hour cycles (most nights).

We have tried EVERYTHING, including but not limited to: consistent routine, longer naps, shorter naps, later naps, earlier naps, light on, light off, white noise, staying with her until she sleeps, teaching her to fall asleep on her own in bed, taking her to the spare bed with me (this is an every night occurrence eventually or else I would be a zombie). Toys in bed, no toys in bed, cot sides on or off, Calpol in case of teething, different pjs, covers and mattress, controlled crying (nearly broke me), gradual withdrawal, daddy doing bedtime etc, etc, etc. NOTHING WORKS!

We have had a couple of nights where she tries to lull us in to a false sense of relief by sleeping through from 7 til about 5 but usually reverts to form a night or two later.

And most infuriatingly, when my MIL takes her overnight occasionally, she sleeps much better (though not usually right through).

Does anyone have any sage advice? I'm working with preschool children 4 days a week too so I am almost broken!

[dramajustfollowsme]

I could have written your post except I work 3 days a week with 9year olds and dd is 25 months!
I haven't any words of wisdom but just wanted you to know you are not alone. I'm writing this in DD's room before I attempt to commando crawl out again!

[IM226]

Thanks! It's nice just to hear we're not alone! I curse every squeaky floorboard!

[dramajustfollowsme]

Yep, DH and I have discussed lifting the carpets and sorting all the floorboards!

[Fazerina]

Nope, you are not alone! DS is just 24 months and exactly the same. I hope someone will be round soonish to say they do magically change at some point..

[IM226]

That's what I'm hoping for!

[coronalover]

Have you tried a gro clock or similar? my DS is now 3.4 but around 2 he had phases or waking in the night and early waking. he got the idea of staying in bed until the sun comes up on the clock pretty quickly. he still has it and pretty much sticks to it but we've had to use a spot of bribery and a star chart on occasion as well :)

[IM226]

I have a gro clock but think she was a bit young for it when we first got it. May be worth a try again though...

[munchkinmaster]

I can see you have tried lots of things. It sounds like you are at the end of your tether. No sleep is the worst.

How long have you stuck to each strategy. In my experience parents can get disenchanted with a strategy when it doesn't seem to work and then switch too soon. With any type of behavioural strategy you need to stick to it with no exceptions.

You know she can do it. She proves it with mil. She has however different experience and habits with her.

As long as you let her get in with you she will. Sorry, but it's true.

At that age I'd book time off work, buy a bottle of gin and rapid return.

[IM226]

Thanks.

Have tried everything for the recommended length. We're doing rapid return and it was working for getting her to sleep but not staying asleep. It's stopped working now though but we're persevering. Waiting for the summer holidays (teacher time off) then going to start insisting she stay in her own bed. Bless her-she's awesome in every other way!

[munchkinmaster]

I agree with your plan. if you are returning her a few times and then letting her in with you (as you say in your op). You are just confusing things and teaching her to try a bit harder.

I'd agree you just leave it for a bit until you can just say 'right this is it now.'

I'm not sure there is a recommended lenght - all kids are different and the time something will take to work will depend on lots of things.

[IM226]

I meant we tried each thing for a good stretch - and longer than the amount of time whatever source said it should take! Unfortunately I've had 'this is it now' times before and we've been in s good zone for a while then it all changes again for no apparent reason! We shall see...

[freetrait]

You could do controlled crying, but I am guessing you don't want to?

[munchkinmaster]

Then what I would do is think about what worked, what got you into the 'good zone' and do more of it.

I actually do this type of thing for a living and when people say 'it worked for a bit and then stopped' when you really get into the nitty gritty it's often the case that things got better, they relaxed, cut a few corners (as you would to see what's needed and what's not), and it begins to slide.

[Ragusa]

Is it OK once you co-sleep? If so, I would honestly just do that. Short-term survival is often the way to go . If she's still disturbing you even if you co-sleep.... arrgh, I feel for you.

Have you ruled out physical causes - apnoea, snoring, allergies, laryngomalacia?

[mawbroon]

Sympathies. I won't tell you how old ds1 was when he started sleeping regularly through the night

Sleep deprivation is the pits. Do what you have to do for everyone to get the most sleep possible.

[BikeRunSki]

I could have written your post, although I do a different job. But I do also have a 4 yo! DD is 19 months. Until recently she was still waking up several times a night. Several people suggested cranial osrropathy. I was cynical, but prepared to try anything. She's had 3 sessions and now sleeps through to about 6am. it's early, but she's no longer up in the night.