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When to get DD off the dummy?

(7 Posts)
PeggyL Sun 21-Apr-13 18:19:18

My DD is 14 weeks and has a dummy during the day, for naps and also at bedtime. I think she's too young at the moment, but when's a good time to get rid of it, DD is waking me up 4/5 times a night to put it back in which kinda defeats the point! Also, how best to get her to self-soothe, especially at night, am worried about her making loads of noise when I wean her off it and waking DS up! x

smellsofsick Sun 21-Apr-13 18:36:22

Marking my spot. DD2 now 17 weeks and loves hers!

BotBotticelli Sun 21-Apr-13 19:50:15

Hey Peggy, my DS is 19 weeks and also has a dummy at bedtime, for naps during the day, and for when we're out and about if he starts getting grumpy!

I am not sure when/how we are going to wean him off it, but I wanted to respond to the bit of your post about putting the dummy in throughout the night: it really reminded me of a situation me and DH were in about 5 weeks ago, when DS was the same age as your daughter!

Literally, we were getting up LOADS in the night to put his dummy in. The worst night, we had to do it SEVEN times between midnight and 6.30am! After that night, DH and I decided it had to stop!!!

So....we decided that DS needed to learn to settle himself back to sleep without his dummy. We decided to concentrate on the early part of the evening at first (ie between 7pm - 10pm) as this is typically his deepest, most settled kind of sleeping. So when he stirred at 8pm, having been in bed for an hour, instead of rushing in there to replace the dummy, we waited in the living room listening on the monitor to see what happened if we didnt go in. Obviously DS is too young for 'controlled crying' and I would never leave him if he was in distress, so we listened carefully to the cry he was making: it was a sort of moan like a creaking door! Definitely a 'tired' noise rather than a cry of distress. We left him alone and within minutes, he was back asleep!

For a few nights we carried on going into him in the wee small hours to replace the dummy, mostly cos I didn't believe he would also be able to self settle late at night on his own! But we kept it up in the early evening until we were confident (after maybe 5 days) that he had got it nailed.

Then we decided to try the same thing in the middle of the night: now, when he stirs and cries in the night, I look at my phone to check the time, and say I am going to give him 4 minutes to go back to sleep (it can feel like a looong time at 2am!). About a week later he had got the hang of this too. He usually grizzles/moans for 3-4 mins and then drifts back off to sleep....it doesn;t work all the time, but I would say it isi successful 70% of the time. Which means we now usually only get up once to replace the dummy, and he will wake up another 2 times but will go back to sleep on his own. A much better night's sleep for all of us!

The one thing I have noticed is that if DS wakes/stirs anytime from 5am onwards, we still have to jump out of bed to pop the dummy in if we want any chance of him getting back to sleep! It seems like the self settling works v v well before midnight, ok-ish between midnight and 5am, but after 5am: no chance!

Might be worth a try? Good luck!

stargirl1701 Sun 21-Apr-13 19:55:01

We ditched it about 4 months when it became a game. DD would throw it out of the cot, we would pick it up. All night long.

PeggyL Sun 21-Apr-13 21:24:55

Thanks Bot, good advice, going to try that, DD not too bad before midnight funnily enough, midnight to 5am is crap, has sooo tired today & hard looking after DS too.

Stargirl Good for you!x

stargirl1701 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:01:39

Thank you. It didn't help our sleeping issues, mind you. Only better now at 7 months. We finally seemed to have the right dose of silent reflux medication.

MiaowTheCat Mon 22-Apr-13 09:16:58

A sleepytot worked wonders for DD1 - think we introduced it around the 4 month mark when I got fed up with nighttime dummy replacements. Took a while as at first she'd pull it out when playing with the bunny's ears - but within a few weeks she'd started to get the idea and then started finding/replacing the dummy herself (her motor skills were still fairly delayed by this point so it took us longer). Now it's like you just need to bring out the bunny with dummy attached and she visibly relaxes (she just has it for sleeping) and I'm hoping we can remove the dummy sooner or later (probably not sooner since she's just got a new sibling and she's the sort who'll mug her sister for her dummy if she hasn't got her own!) and just have the cuddly toy as a comforter now the associations are all built up.

Without the dummy she's a thumb sucker and, as a compulsive nail biter to the point they often hurt me myself, I really don't want her getting the hands always in mouth habit - hence letting her still have it for sleep at 12 months.

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