Tantrums at bedtime

[geologygirl]

Hi all

My 25 month old ds is driving me potty and im dreading bedtime tonight! He has had a good routine from about 9mths and has been in cot bed with sides down since Christmas. It was safer than him vaulting over the side which he discovered he could do...

Now he has started refusing to go to bed and screams his head off. Last night I tried leaving him for 5 mins to see if he got bored and went to bed....he was still going 20mins later, at which point I put him in my bed next door and he was happy. He screams the place down every night and points to my room....basically he wants to be with me.

Its also extended to the daytime and he kicks up a huge fuss when I drop him off at nursery. He clings onto me for dear life!

My parents are very old school and strict. They tell me to leave him to cry tonight as its the only way. I don't really want to do that and want to know some other methods to try. Any ideas? I have no idea why he is suddenly doing this.

[omama]

Does he still nap during the day? What time & how long for? What time are you trying to put him to bed?

If he's still napping perhaps he's not tired enough at bedtime anymore? From around age 2 we had to push ds bedtime back to 8pm if he had a nap as he wasn't tired enough otherwise. Bedtime battles stopped pretty quickly. Hth.x

[AnneEyhtMeyer]

We found with DD that this was happening due to over-tiredness. We brought forward bedtime by half an hour and the tantrums disappeared.

[geologygirl]

Thanks for the replies.

He is up at 7am and I put him to bed ar 8pm. He has a nap at nursery of 90mins....usually starting around 1130. The staff put all the kids to sleep right after lunchtime, which is 11am.

Last night he fought for nearly 3hrs. Not crying but shouting.

Yet again he's in his room and shouting. Been shouting for an hour. Every time I go in to check he gets worse. Kicks me etc and tries to wander off into the lounge!

Do you think I should have the nursery scrap his sleep after lunch? ?

[candr]

90 min nap is far too long at his age and very lazy of nursery staff. If anything he should be having half hour nap after lunch but not past 2.00. I think you will have to do the classic return to room after a few min, comfort and leave as many times as it takes but stop taking him to your room as then he wins. Hope it is just a phase but if you knock the day nap on the head he should go to bed better at a slightly earlier time. Can you read a book or something in his room before you leave so he is calm and in own bed? I do sympathise as my 19m old wakes at 4am ish and screams to come into my bed (is driving me mad) and they can keep going for good hour or so till they pass out exhausted so gird your loins and stay strong - good luck.

[geologygirl]

Thanks so much. I will definitely speak to the nursery tomorrow and ask them to scrap or at least shorten his nap. He never naps at the weekend when he's out and about with me, so doubt he needs one. The staff clearly just want a break and are forcing them to sleep.

I will just keep going in there trying to comfort but he gets so worked up and wont even lie down! I think no nap might help so that he's more tired. Its just so frustrating and it amazes me that such a tiny person actually has the energy to shout for so long! Seems he's a stubborn one....just like his mum!

[SimLondon]

A two year old on average needs 13 hours sleep in 24 hours, so if yours is getting 11 hours at home (8-7) and 1.5 hours at nursery that's only 12.5 hours - a previous poster suggested bringing forward bedtime, so that might be something you want to try - bringing bedtime forward by half an hour.

Take a look at this article on babycentre on how much sleep children need www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-child-need_64915.bc