Daughter stole

[Emz8369]

Hi, i really don't know what to do right now, my daughter was supposed to staying at my sisters house tonight and i got a phone call earlier on tonight off my sister saying that daughter was upset as she had been walking past the local shop and the woman working in the shop had confronted her outside and said she wasnt allowed in the shop as she had been shoplifting which i didnt beleive she would so i asked my dad (who was at sisters house) to bring her along home so i could go back to the shop with her to find out what had went on.At this point i did not beleive that she had done anything wrong so went back to the shop and asked the woman what was going on so the woman explained what happened and arranged for someone to come in and show me the cctv footage which clearly shows my daughter when confronted by the shop keepe pull a tube of rolos that she had tried to steal out of her sleeve!I really do not know what to do as i never thought she would ever do anything like this and is really bright and does well at school, im just so shocked that she could do someting like this! The only punishment i can think of is grounding her (was thinking two weeks) and banning her from her netbook (for 1 week) is this enough or should i put something harsher in place?

[mumarchy]

Before punishing her try and talk to her to find out why she did it. If you are very harsh with her without finding out the reason for her doing it, she might just stop communicating with you. She might have heard some of her peers talking about it and thought it was a cool thing to try. How old is she? Is she truly ashamed of herself, if yes, maybe you could forgive her this time.

[Emz8369]

She said her friend talked her into doing it yet she was alone when she did it, she is 10 and seemed truly ashamed of herself while in the shop but once i got her home she started with her attitude and telling me what she wanted to do and trying to dictate to me about her punishment

[mumarchy]

When children do something awful and they are really ashamed in their hearts, they do try to brazen it out with the adults as the prospect of facing what they have done is very painful. You do need to take control of the situation, tell her not to lie, ask if she has done this for the first time...if yes and if you feel that is the truth, tell her you are disappointed but you are willing to trust her again and give her another chance. If she breaks your trust, then the next time will have consequences...real bad consequences and the shop involved might even call the police! Do hug her and tell her you love her and you understand that she made a terrible mistake...lack of judgement on her part. This approach might make her feel guilty and stop her from doing it again. Good luck.

[Emz8369]

Thanks mumarchy and thanks for the luck i think i might need it