Advice needed pls: 10 week old won't nap in the day...

[LoopyLa]

My ds is 11 weeks old tomorrow and is sleeping (what I would consider to be) well at night. Between 12-14 hours a night with only one feed needed.

The problem is the day?he doesn?t nap at all & I?m exhausted trying to get him to sleep. I?ll spot the signs that he?s tired so will start cuddling or rocking him to sleep and he?ll fall really quickly but then won?t stay asleep ? no longer than 10-20 mins at a time. He?s formula fed and mostly finishes his bottles but not all the time. He also spits up quite a lot but this isn?t on a regular basis nor is it enough for the doctor to be concerned about/prescribe anything.

I?ve tried putting him down & shushing him, white noise, rocking him my arms, in the pram, going for walks, putting him the sling, putting him in the car and none of it works for more than 20 mins at a time.

My mum said I was the same as a baby and she used to give me a dummy (which I?ve tried but my ds doesn?t take to them) with honey on it (this was the 70?s & I have no intention of doing the same obviously).

Any thoughts or anyone had this with their babies? I haven?t gone to a health clinic as yet but wanted to hear from parents who have experienced this?

Thank you

[LoopyLa]

Apologies for the grammar - when I cut & paste, the apostrophes have turned into question marks, very annoying!!

[Iggly]

How long is he awake for at a time?

I'd try napping within an hour of first waking. Make sure yes fully winded after a feed and stick in sling.

Next naps, similar timing but he might sustain longer (90 mins).

My ds was a nap resistor - he got massively overtired so I had to resort to this and forget tired signs and go by the clock. After a week or so he would settle down (until another blip) then he fell into a routine.

Does he wake up upset?

[Iggly]

I also persevere with dummies. Dd only liked a particular kind (nuk) which I could only get in random chemists. Worth trying one after a feed when he might be sleepy and inclined to keep sucking.

[happynappies]

At around three months old I find that babies do nap but I also have to go by the clock. An hour to an hour and a half after they woke up put them in their crib/Moses basket. Mine would suck their thumb and usually go to sleep. If they got distressed I'd feed them again, check nappy etc then put back in the crib. I tried to avoid shushing, rocking and patting etc, and just tried to get on with things nearby. Only ds was the real resistor, but he would listen to radio 4 and that sent him to sleep! Sometimes they don't sleep for that long, or they cry a bit when they stir but go back to sleep if you don't pick them up straight away (not advocating leaving a distressed baby, but just waiting to see if things escalate or calm down). Failing that get a sling, stick some music on and dance

[gloucestergirl]

My DD was and is still a great fighter of sleep. We got a carrier and walked around the house with her in it to get her to sleep. That way if she stirred then she could go back to sleep on us. Me and my husband are laughing now at the way that we had to pace the house for up to an hour 2-4 times a day to get the little toad cherub to sleep. She used to wake up if we dared to stop walking or even heaven forbid sit down. I used to walk in a circle in front of the telly

I have also had a long afternoon walk as part of a our daily routine, which helped with sleep loads. I often had to transfer her from the pram to the carrier. Thank god we lived in a new and very interesting city with lots of interesting areas to discover.

Thinking back, those days were so new, exciting and nerve-racking trying new ways of looking after our little bundle. But thank god for that carrier - £30 from mothercare - saved our lives.

[gloucestergirl]

PS I hope you find a way that works for you, but don't stop with trying the other ways too. We went from carrier to rocking to eventually putting down to sleep. But each step took much experimentation.

[Morph2]

My DS was the same, he's now 2.7 and doesn't nap at all in the day since before he was 2 but will do 12-14 hours at night straight through.

When he was young i remember others people babies sleeping 2-3 hour naps in the day and DS would only ever sleep half hour at a time and for him to do that was an effort!

Looking back i think some kids are just not day sleepers, as long as they sleep at night thats the main thing

[LoopyLa]

Thank you everyone for your answers, I?d be happy to hear more thoughts?

Iggly thanks for the above; he does sometimes wake upset - does it make a difference? Usually the longer the nap, the more upset he is. He?s awake for anything from 2 hours+ before he shows signs of tiredness.

I was also interested about using different dummies but thought that offering one after a feed, he?d be less inclined to take one ? he?s happy after a bottle so wouldn?t he assume that a dummy is just more milk being offered?

Thank you happynappies

gloucestergirl yep, tried sling but now it feels really uncomfortable for me as he?s getting heavier

Morph I?d be happy to accept that he just needs less sleep if he wasn?t so grumpy in the evening or getting upset in the day..

[Iggly]

Ok he's awake for too long. Just because he doesn't show signs of distress, doesn't mean he isn't tired. Babies get very wired when tired then crash. So make sure he's napping within two hours at the very most. You might miss tired signs (eg a rub of the eye, glazed look) before they switch to wired then overtired.

He'd get used to the idea of a dummy not being food. If you give him one when hungry he'd be annoyed as no milk right? After a feed some babies like to keep suckling as its a comfort thing and helps soothe them. Worth a try.

What sling do you have? Not a baby bjorn or similar by any chance? They are rubbish for heavier babies. I used a manduca - great for older babies.

[Iggly]

Ok he's awake for too long. Just because he doesn't show signs of distress, doesn't mean he isn't tired. Babies get very wired when tired then crash. So make sure he's napping within two hours at the very most. You might miss tired signs (eg a rub of the eye, glazed look) before they switch to wired then overtired.

He'd get used to the idea of a dummy not being food. If you give him one when hungry he'd be annoyed as no milk right? After a feed some babies like to keep suckling as its a comfort thing and helps soothe them. Worth a try.

What sling do you have? Not a baby bjorn or similar by any chance? They are rubbish for heavier babies. I used a manduca - great for older babies.

[duchesse]

DS never slept in the daytime from 3 weeks of age onwards. I disagree with those who say that babies of this age must have x number of hours sleep- some just don't. The good news is that there is tons you can do with him while he's awake- out for walks, talking to him all the while about the things you can see, read to him (even 3 mo appreciate that!), play this little piggy, baby massage. It's exhausting but the payback is that he may well learn tons much earlier than sleepier babies. Our DS was unusually advanced at 12 m in many respects although not now at 19, the lazy little sod and had a very advanced vocabulary from age 2 which I put down to the extra stimulation and interaction he had as a very young baby from not being asleep. Just very very glad he was my first child though- would have been much harder with an older child/ren to look after.

My conclusion is hang there, there will be pay back - not only in the extra hours of interaction but also because revenge will be all the sweeter when he's 16 and you can start to wake him up.

[Iggly]

I find it hard to believe that a 3 week old didn't have any sleep? Not even catnaps? The sleep guidance is based on research not random rules.

Noone is saying that a baby must have x amount of sleep but if a baby is crying and getting upset from being awake then something should be done.

[duchesse]

None. Not in the car, not in the pram, not in the sling, not in his cot, not in our bed. He may conceivably have been catnapping while feeding (which he did a lot) but it certainly didn't stop him getting his grub at the same time.

[duchesse]

And was also never upset or crying- he was an unusually sunny small baby. Not until 9 mo when separation anxiety kicked in with a vengeance.

[terilou87]

my ds1 never slept(not even catnapped) in the day and only catnapped on night this was till he was 3 years old, he is now 5 and has been diagnosed with adhd. i think this was linked with the lack of sleeping when he was a baby but thats just my thought not definite. baby massage is a good idea as it helps them relax. i did this with my ds2 and it worked wonders x

[Iggly]

That must have been tough!

[NanoNinja]

OP, no advice I'm afraid but my 12 wo is the same. Sleeps 10-7 most nights, maybe an hour or so from 8-9? And the rest of the day is a free for all. If I take him out, and walk for over an hour (so he gets into deep sleep), then I'll get about 3 hours sleep out of him. I usually do this once a day, may start doing it twice, but don't want it to end up being the only way he goes to sleep...