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My DS will be 17 months when his little brother will arrive, any hints on how to prepare him for this?

(16 Posts)
TamaraNicolaou Thu 29-Nov-12 13:30:41

HI all, my DS will be 17 months old when his little brother arrives into the world, any handy hints on how I can prepare him for this?

BillyBollyBallum Thu 29-Nov-12 13:35:46

Preparation I would say is nigh on impossible. I spent weeks stroking bump with dd1 and talking to her about the baby. Bought her a present off the baby - she took one look at it, peered at dd2 and went to play in the sink hmm

For us it was more important to acclimitise her when dd2 arrived, so lots of talking to her about how the baby loves her big sister, how dd1 can shw the baby what big girls do etc. Also helping you by getting things, and lobbing toys at the baby.

Try and keep dc1's routine as well as much as poss.

There is 20 months between mine who are 3 now and 18 months - it is a lovely age gap smile

Girlsville Thu 29-Nov-12 15:26:35

Agree with BillyBolly =- I dont think you can prepare a 17 month old.
I have 15 monthsbetween my dds and did nt even attempt to prepare dd1. She was a baby herself and would not ahve udnerstood! We had no jealousy or reactionf rom ehr at all (tho she did cry wehn I chanegd dd2s napy onc hanging table as she wanted to watch - as soon as I put mat on floor she stopped crying).

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 29-Nov-12 15:31:59

Aw I have 17months between mine, a dd firtst then ds. DD loved him and used to sit there and bounce him in his bouncy chair and get under the play gym with him.

They're both at school now, yr 1 and 2 and still are best friends, we get the odd day where they bicker about everything but mostly it's great and they always have someone to play with at home/park/softplay/school. dd reads to him every night and he reads his school books to her, and on a weekend they still ask to sleep together. Also all dds friends love him as he can be the dad in all their baby games <eyeroll> and sometimes he lets them paint his toe nails grin

I just hope when they're older they're still so close.

Firawla Thu 29-Nov-12 17:07:04

I have 17 months between my 1st two, agree with the others its hard to prepare them really as they are quite little but hopefully will adapt quickly. I'm sure my eldest doesn't remember being the only one, before ds2 was here and they are really close. I would try to keep your oldest ones daily routine as similar as you can and just tag the baby along with it, then they will adapt quickly as they see not much has really changed? I had 19 months between my 2nd two and wasn't able to prepare the younger one for that either as still young & he didnt understand

TamaraNicolaou Sun 02-Dec-12 05:29:01

Fair enough, all sounds positive though, thank you very much, feel alot more confident now....

Just mentally preparing myself for the hard work ahead smile, only 2/3 weeks to go grin

CleansLate Sun 02-Dec-12 05:36:15

REALLY small gap between DS2 and DS3. DS2 was a bit wary of the small squawking thing for a while and poor DS3 (who thank god was a chilled out baby), spent way way more time in an automatic swing thing than I'd've liked as I ran after toddler DS3.

A big plus is that the nappy phase was a bit shorter! DS2 keen to not be a 'baby' like DS3. BIG gap between DS1 and DS2 and it was a bit of a shock starting nappies up again.

But I think that DS2 was too young to feel supplanted or jealous or anything, there was no malice as I have seen with some sibling sets!

LiquidLunch Sun 02-Dec-12 07:08:19

I have 16 mo between mine and although you can't prepare your eldest, you need to make sure they get enough attention throughout the day.

It's hard work and you need the patience and organisation of Mary Poppins, but it is doable.

Lots of cuddles, kisses, talking and interacting with your eldest, even when you're busy with baby helps the transition for your eldest.

Take your time to find your feet as it were, relax, go with the flow and take one day at a time in the early days.

Good luck - and what a lovely Christmas present!

ellesabe Sun 02-Dec-12 08:37:27

One thing that I was advised to do was to get my dd used to sitting next to me when I read her a story instead of sitting on my knee. Dd2 is now 3wo and dd1 has never had an issue with me holding her on the sofa because her spot next to me is always still available smile

bizzey Sun 02-Dec-12 23:50:27

OHHH feeling very reminisant here !!! This was me just over 11 years ago !!

16 1/2 months gap ...It will be a shock to you and ds1 at first....your ds 1 will seem soooo big compared to ds2 at nappy changing time!!

Can't really remember what preparation we did with ds1 apart from the usual stroaking my bump,giving baba kisses,..but also having time when baba was asleep in my tummy and will sometimes be asleep so lets have snuggles now and a book.

A couple of things that I did (because I am a lazy mother!) is I did not make ds1 be the "big boy now" he still liked his milk from bottles so when baba had boobie and then onto bottles he had a "bob bot" as well and we had a lovely quiet time watching Noddie (I know I should have been reading them a book but I said I was lazy !!!)

You will find your own way of coping with things that suit you and your family but it is do able I promise .......I went on to have another ds 22 months later ....went for a bigger gap that time !!!!!

DS1 was conly 3 and I still not make him to be the "big boy now"....lets just say bot bots and dummys stayed in our house foe quite a while !!!!

I now have 3 lovely sensible bright boys who apart from the normal squabble of who has got the biggest slice of cake get on really well....

Oh and I have still avoided giving my 11year old the"big boy now" label

Good luck and ENJOY !!!!

Ps ds2 AKA Baba did get a name but it was not used for about 3 years ds1 refused to accept it !!! No its baba !! not xxxx

blondiedollface Sun 02-Dec-12 23:59:55

We are planning DC2 and DD is only 6mo - lovely to see so many positive things about this age gap!

bizzey Mon 03-Dec-12 00:14:56

blondie good luck !! as said 3 years between all of mine's a doddle now !!!(well apart from all the lego I keep stepping on which doesn't seem to belong to ANYONE !!!)

Eggsbon Mon 03-Dec-12 05:13:23

There's 21 months between mine and even though I kept banging on about him getting a sister soon, I don't think he had any concept of what was about to happen.

I tried to make any changes to his routine and the set up of the house (e.g. Extra stair gates for in case I needed to leave him unsupervised for a few minutes) before my DD's arrival. We also bought him a couple of little presents from the baby for the day she arrived.

Initially he could be a bit rough with her (the odd slap on the head), but now, 3 months on, he's lovely with her and likes to lie next to her on the play mat and stroke her head. Lots of reassuring cuddles for him and bigging up his big brother role has helped, but I think he also loves to be treated like a baby too, so I cradle him like a baby and sing him lullabys before bed. It's quite easy to all of a sudden think of your eldest being really grown up, so do be careful not to expect too much from them...

Best of luck with it all - it's tiring, but brilliant having two.

TamaraNicolaou Tue 11-Dec-12 19:54:22

Thank you all so much, it all sounds very positive smile only a couple of weeks to go smile, I have been talking to DS1 about it and we have cuddles and he rubs cream into the bump and is starting to say baby with a big smile, not sure how long that smile will last when DS2 does finally make an appearance LOL!

I am hoping that DS2 will sleep well to give DS1 and I our quality time, DH is being a great help too, DS1 thinks DH is the best thing since sliced bread so I am hoping that the more time DS1 spends with DH it will be considered a bonus (for both of them wink ).

As you say, will have to take one day at a time, I have no problems if DS wants boobie juice as well, I only stopped BFing a month ago so i am expecting him to regress etc....

All your comments have been a great psychological help though so thanks again thanks

bluechik Fri 14-Dec-12 12:09:23

Does he like reading? We have the same age gap and there's a book called 'there's a house inside my mummy' which we used and another called 'my new baby' which was handy. They are also good to keep reading after the event.

We also made sure the first time he met his brother he got a present from the baby.

They are very little at that stage but still very interested. It might also be good to get a doll - we didn't think of it but they love to copy you and poor DS1 had to resort to breastfeeding and practicing nappy changes on a favourite stuffed toy cow - very cute.

They are 9 months and 2yrs 3 months now - hard work but I agree a lovely age gap. Best of luck.

FestiveWench Fri 14-Dec-12 12:17:26

DS1 was totally uninterested in DS2 at that age.

For weeks he told everyone about how he went to the hospital and ... granny gave him an apple.

An apple clearly rated more highly than a brother.

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