dd aged 6 is so stroppy at times!

[lavender1]

hello all,

You might think thread is a waste of time as all dd and ds get stroppy at times, but just needed to get off chest..

Have been getting dd to tidy room today, as she tiped all her toys out the other day and have now decided to put almost all of them in loft until later date...She is very lovely and affectionate most of the time but when was asking her to go up her voice was so loud, pointed her finger and then threw a paddy...the thing is don't know about anyone else on mumsnet, but CANNOT be her sole source of entertainment all the time...the last few days we've been at home just chilling but children want so much attention sometimes and dh and I are only human...all her friends have been doing Christmas with their families and have done the panto, railway trip and horse day thing along with playing...do other mumsnetters sometimes hardly play with dc somedays and others lots....we need a break too...sorry to moan but feel better for talking

[KatieMac]

My DD is a stroppy little C*W at times and I get to the end of my tether but you are right if we have had a break and feel OK it is much easier to deal with than when we have been in three days and are getting stressed and they are bored,

BYW my mum did not allow us to get bored if we said the word we were sent to bed as there were 'plenty of things to do in this house'!

[charliecat]

My dd also 6 throws a strop because once a day i ask her to go and get her jim jams. Everynight it causes problems, tidying her room......not on your nelly. She thinks i should be breakfast lady, dinner lady, playfriend, shoelaces tyerupper and whatever else it required 24/7 and if I have the cheek to talk to someone my age and not hers she does everything to break my conversation up.
I am used to it now, It is just the way she is. Her sister is a breath of fresh air but shes just really hard work, if shes not doing something shes moaning.
All i can suggest is giving her some magazines or something to cut up in the kitchen while you sneak off and have 5/10 mins peace in another room with a cup of coffee. You have my sympathiesxx

[lavender1]

Thanks, think problem has been that she's got the smallest room, so all her toys are in there and she's a messy pup. When back at school brain will resume to fully functioning again and ideas about what she can do will be flowing

[Lowri]

lavender1 - you're right, you do need a break from the kids. Do you mind if I recommend a book (horrible title) "How to be a better parent" by Cassandra Jardine. It's quite recent. I got it because I realised that was a handservant to my 3 kids - 7,6 and 4, and they needed to do much more for themselves - without me having to scream the place down. One of the things the book says is "Don't do for children what they can do for themselves" (although there's lots more, too). Hubby and I sat down and tried to work out our approach a (quick) look at the book (this in itself was A GOOD THING) and although there's no magic wand we do feel like we're getting somewhere. We now have some house rules pinned up in the kithen! Hope this doesn't sound preachy - just wanted to pass on what I think is helping us. Best wishes.

[nutcracker]

I too have a stroppy 6yr old (going on 16)DD. She is very head strong and doesn't know when to give in. Also she thinks she's 10 yrs older than she is. When she was four, she asked if she could get her belly button pierced

[Podmog]

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[tigermoth]

can a mother or sons come into this conversation for a moment? just wanted to say, looking at my two, the desire to be entertained 24/7 seems to be a personality thing as well. My oldest son was born wanting company. My youngest has always been much better at entertaining himself.

However even the oldest is not much more self sufficient and will spend hours drawing, reading and playing games alone. As the years go by, as he learned to read and follow instructions, more and more ways to pass the time opened up for him.

Can't add any useful advice to the tidying your own room problems. My two are just the same.

[robinw]

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[Cam]

Got another similar 6 year old here, I have found that getting her a radio cassette player for her bedroom plus some book tapes in the 6 - 9 age bracket (slightly challenging stories eg. by Jacqueline Wilson) has dd listening intently and contentedly in her room for a certain length of time. She then usually spends an hour or two "acting out the stories" for me. That was interesting to Jacqueline Wilson's "Cat Mummy" (luckily we only have a toy cat not a real one!)

[Lowri]

Batters - the book does talk about playing independently, so could help. I have to say I got it because my problem is that my kids just won't do what I say, but that's another thread! My 3 all play together well for most of the time - they have a massive game of schools on at the moment, and all normal events (washing, meals etc) have to be fitted into "break times" and "lunchtimes". We didn't see them for 5 hours on Sunday! As others have said here, though, I think when they're on their own it is a function of personality and age.

[lavender1]

Thanks for all your comments, you know it's great to read that other parents have the same problems as you, makes you feel quite normal, if anyone is normal?...Lowri that thing about don't do things for children that they can do for themselves is really helpful...infact tonight just before I kissed them both goodnight I said in my usual fashion of mother throwing her voice around, "I'm never going to tidy this mess up again, if you want to live like a pig then live like a pig", going to try really hard to not go in there and help her...as for doing stuff by themselves, if it's raining and lousy there is always pressure to take them out so they don't squabble, this Christmas no family or rels visited so had dd and ds all the time almost (odd visit to my friends house for a chat) and by the end of the hols we just wanted to relax, we did a panto, horse stable day and a railway trip and lots of mucking about....The thing is I do have this thing about always doing something with them, as you see parents taking children swimming etc, and my mother always took us to play tennis when we were little(her hobby...but enjoyed)...Will close this now...Wondered if anyone else feels the pressure to be taking them places all the time?...shouldn't trips be a treat?