sexual awareness v sensory awareness

[dee1dee]

I have just read similar posts and like other mums have not known who to talk to face-to-face or other, or really what to say. I don't even know how to put it here but to say that I have found my DD, who is 3, rubbing herself with her comfort blanket. At first I was shocked as she has never seen us doing this. I have tried to ask her about it but am not sure if what she tells me is true. I asked why she did it and she cant tell me. I asked if it felt nice is that why she does it she said yes. I asked if someone showed her and she said her aunt but not her uncle, then on another occasion she just names everyone (including their dogs) but her aunt is always the first she says. There has only been a few times where my DD has been alone with her aunt and 4yo girl cousin. It makes me think WTF! has been going on? My relationship with the aunt is a very sensitive one ie she is so moody, spoilt and impossible and have fallen out several times before. Do I challenge her on this or is this possibly just a stage kids go through and my asking who showed her this evoking any kind of answer. If my DD has been shown this I don't think I will be responsible for my actions!

I am also in a predicament that if its true then I am obligated to tell her employer as she is a nursery teacher so you can see any allegation could be damaging especially if not true.

I am certainly not going to allow my DD to EVER be alone when the aunt is around.

Advice PLEASE.

[DeWe]

A lot of children discover this on their own. I think there was a thread a bit ago where a couple of people said their dd's used the buggy straps.

If you asked her who showed her to do something else (nice) would she say the aunt first too, if it was something she'd learnt on her own?

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

It is a really common thing, and no one needs to have shown her.

[monsterchild]

Yeah, it's not uncommon for kids to "find themselves" at this age. No one is surprised about boys, but don't realize girls do it too!

I wouldn't make a big deal of it, you could ask Auntie if she's noticed this behavior as well. It could be Auntie was the first to TALK about it with her. Or that Auntie is just the person she knows well enough to name.

take a big breath and relax! your DD is just fine!

[FrustratedSycamorePants]

I have a few friends whose dds have done similar. They do grow out of it if a fuss is not made.
Not sure it's really any different to a boy of the same age putting his had down his pants, except its more frown on when girls do it the child is becoming aware of their body, and that they have genitalia, and its a perfectly normal developmental stage that they grow out of.

[PandaNot]

Perfectly normal and you are over reacting to something which most children do at some point. I'm feeling a little bit sorry for the auntie who is getting the blame. My dd would always name her auntie first if asked to name some adults because she absolutely adores her and pushes me out of the way to get to her!

[ZuleikaD]

Yes, you're overreacting and I certainly wouldn't blame the aunt! Most children discover this by themselves, it can take girls a little longer because there's nothing obvious to fiddle with but they pretty much all get there by themselves. Self-stimulation can start in the womb! I just tell my DD (also 3) that it's perfectly ok but it's something that's private and for her to do by herself in her bedroom.

[dee1dee]

Thanks for all the reassuring posts. I just freaked out a bit as it was not something I expected to see at such an age. Huge sigh of relief.

:)

[Ozziegirly]

Well my DS has just started, for want of a better word, "humping" up and down when he wakes from a nap - he just kind of humps around on his front in his cot. I assume it feels nice, but no one has taught him this as he has never been left with anyone.

[AuntieStella]

It's common, normal and does not require any form of instruction.

I am concerned about your actions in this: you appear to have asked your DD closely about this on more than one occasion, including leading questions about third parties. You need to cut this out completely.

Perhaps ask MN, before repeatedly asking DD, about issues where you are not sure of what is normal?