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5yr old lets everyone push infront of her.

(15 Posts)
familyfun Tue 25-Sep-12 13:55:18

How can i help her/encourage her to stand up for herself?

She is a bit of a daydreamer and quite slow and i understand other kids are faster but im fed up of seeing her at the back.

she starts up the slide and 1 kid will push past on the steps then at the top another kid pushes infront then another then one climbs up the bloody slide and has a go infront of her. the other day i bellowed up ,dd stop letting them push in and get down the slide" blush she said she was waiting for it to be clear but the others were just going down anyway. i suppose she was being asfe and sensible but they were taking the piss going infront of her.

she does a gym class, they line up for turns on equipment and everytime i see the line another kid is infront of her, she says they just run and stand infront of her.

she said yesterday at school pe she didnt get many goes cos a kid kept pushing infront of her.

now do i leave her to it and hope she gets fed up of being pushed back, or at 5 is she still too young and needs me to stand up for her (against fellow 5 yr olds)

she was the same as a toddler, every toy would be taken from her hands and she would watch it go, its sad to see.

she doesnt let dd2 take anything off her and stands her ground, makes her point at home.

advice please???

sheeplikessleep Tue 25-Sep-12 14:00:04

DS1 (nearly 5 is the same).
We've used role play a bit - so if I see an incident like you describe, I'll talk about it at home and say "if this happens again, say 'it is my turn now' and reinforce that everyone has to take their turns". With DS1 it's very much about him knowing what / how to act. He's never going to be bolshy or pushy child, but I do encourage him to say when things are unfairly taken off him.

amillionyears Tue 25-Sep-12 14:02:09

She needs to be polite but firm and say to the other children,no it is my turn now,and mean it and do it.
If that doesnt work after a while,you need to have a word with the gym teacher or whoever.

familyfun Tue 25-Sep-12 14:09:21

yes we often chat in the bath about saying, no dont push in its my turn etc which she agrees with but doesnt do.
i think its partly my fault as when she was younger i would insist on her waiting till the slide was clear so she didnt hurt anyone, wait her turn, share nicely etc and its backfired as the other mothers watch their kids pushing and shoving and snatching and ignore or make snide comments about dd needing to toughen up.

familyfun Tue 25-Sep-12 14:10:42

we have a parents evening at school soon so i think i will ask the teacher to ensure she gets her fair goes as quiet ones can get ignored a bit.

amillionyears Tue 25-Sep-12 14:12:47

Good idea.

Tillyscoutsmum Tue 25-Sep-12 14:20:37

No advice but my dd (also 5) is exactly the same.

familyfun Tue 25-Sep-12 14:30:12

i have seen your posts before tillyscoutsmom and i think out=r dds are very similsr smile

familyfun Tue 25-Sep-12 14:30:34

ooops clearly i cant type

Tillyscoutsmum Tue 25-Sep-12 20:10:25

I did wonder whether I'd typed your OP without remembering grin I too was standing shouting like a fishwife in a park at the weekend whilst she stood there and watched everyone push past. I suppose its nice to be nice but sometimes, I just want her to toughen up a bit otherwise I suspect life might become a bit of an unpleasant surprise to her sad

IHeartKingThistle Tue 25-Sep-12 20:21:45

Both mine are like this, DS especially. He's just started pre-school and I told the teacher on home visit that unless she actually sees another child taking something from him, pushing him etc., he just won't let her know, he'll just take it.

I've always been superhot on manners and sharing too, and now I'm wondering how long it's going to be before my DC realise that being nice gets you nowhere sad.

familyfun Tue 25-Sep-12 20:37:16

the weird thing is, at home she will snatch straight back off her sister, say thst mine, dont push etc.
she is also a bit gullible and thinks everyone has nice intentions. one girl was chatting to her and slyly sneaking infront every time so getting 2 goes to dds 1 but dd said she was being friendly talking. she doesnt always make the best choices of play mates.

familyfun Tue 25-Sep-12 20:38:01

tillyscoutmom think we are both in midlands too, they are probably best friends grin

Tillyscoutsmum Wed 26-Sep-12 09:58:30

grin familyfun. Can you imagine them on top of a slide?? "You go". "No, you go". "No. You!" grin

familyfun Thu 27-Sep-12 14:32:13

we would have to send up a packed lunch grin
I am also trying to teach dd that just because somebody asks for something doesnt mean she has to give it up. the other day she waited for ages to get on the swing and when she finally got on, a boy came up and said "can i have a go please" and she went to jumpoff. i told the boy she had only just got on and would be having a short turn before getting off but dd was insisting she must get off as he had said please.she is too nice.
not to me though, she was screaming at me this morning that her tights werent right and everything was my fault sad

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