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smaking

(20 Posts)
steph01 Wed 19-Sep-12 20:22:06

What are peoples thoughts on smaking your child?
If my ten month old is naughty i tap his hand and say no! Is that right or wrong? X

motherinferior Wed 19-Sep-12 20:23:24

It's wrong. End of.

LadySybildeChocolate Wed 19-Sep-12 20:23:47

You mean smacking? There's threads and threads on here about this, just do a search.

McFarts Wed 19-Sep-12 20:25:32

Totally wrong!! whats up with just saying NO!! he's a baby FFS what do you actually expect the the smack to teach him? what can a 10mths old baby actually do thats NAUGHTY! sorry but you sound like a right loon! angry

Oh and put your hard hat on this will get messy!

LouMacca Wed 19-Sep-12 20:25:41

Can't see how a 10 month old can be naughty myself hmm

NellyBluth Wed 19-Sep-12 20:25:54

Wrong as a punishment, very wrong. I can just about understand how a parent might give a light smack in the heat of the moment if they've just had to grab their toddler from running out into a busy road but... as a punishment? Never.

NellyBluth Wed 19-Sep-12 20:26:52

10 months?! I missed that bit! How can a 10 month old possibly be naughty enough to deserve any form of telling of - they barely know what they are doing at that age!

Cluffyfunt Wed 19-Sep-12 20:28:47

You really shouldn't hit your baby.

ThisIsMummyPig Wed 19-Sep-12 20:31:31

At 10 months you are wrong. I very occassionally smack DD1, but she was well over 2 when I did it first.

DD2 is 2.4 and I have only smacked her once - that was about 2 months ago for running off in a carpark and then laughing when I shouted at her.

ThisIsMummyPig Wed 19-Sep-12 20:31:57

I would consider myself a better mother if I never smacked my children.

TittyWhistles Wed 19-Sep-12 20:35:59

It's never right to hit a child.

Its impossible for a 10 month old to be "naughty"

You are wrong to do it, it's best you get out of the habit now, before your baby starts to remember the pain and humiliation of your physical violence towards him.

Blu Wed 19-Sep-12 20:38:40

Hitting babies is wrong.

And pointless. babies are programmed to keep going in the face of discomfort. How else would they learn to walk - thay fall, get a bump, get up and do it all over again, and again.

Also ppintless from the point of view of development: a 10 month old baby isn't 'naughty'.

Remove him from danger, distract him from things he has no business to meddle with, praise him when he does things you like, encourage him to follow your good examples.

And can someone please explain hitting children who have run off? Why will hitting them stop them wanting to run away from you?

scarlettsmummy2 Wed 19-Sep-12 20:42:27

Ten months! Are you bad? That's perverse. And I am someone who has occasionally smacked my three year old when she has done something that has actually put herself in danger, such as running out of a shop onto a busy road etc.

KateShmate Wed 19-Sep-12 20:50:15

What the hell has your 10month old baby done that has warranted a smack?
That is disgusting. He is a baby.
It is wrong , stop now.

Trazzletoes Wed 19-Sep-12 20:55:52

No need to smack him. Just. Say. No.

Goldmandra Wed 19-Sep-12 23:16:53

steph01 the first thing you need to think about is what is going on in your baby's head.

When you say he is being naughty what do you mean?

Do you mean he's touching something you don't want him to touch?

Do you mean he's throwing his food on the floor?

Do you mean hitting others?

Does he understand the effect of him doing these things?

These are all examples of behaviour which could be described as naughty when it is an older child doing it. We would assume that they knew these things were not acceptable and were choosing to ignore those rules.

At 10 months old your baby is not capable of understanding rules. He is exploring the world as he gets more mobile. He's experimenting with dropping things and seeing whether they reappear. He's working out how hard to hit or touch things by trial and error.

It is quite right to stop him doing something you don't want him to do by saying no and moving him away. This is the beginning of him learning right from wrong. He won't know why you are doing it for a while but you have to start somewhere.

Now if he is simply exploring the world around him why would you smack him? He doesn't know he is doing wrong so he won't know not to do wrong again. He will simply know that sometimes Mummy is kind to me but sometimes Mummy hurts me. He won't make links between his behaviour and your disapproval. He may however learn that, if he starts exploring, people hurt him and start choosing not to explore. That would be really sad.

As he gets older he will start to understand that the smacks have meaning but they will also make him frightened of you and teach him that smacking is a way to show your feelings. Are those things you want him to learn?

It is much better to use praise, distraction and consistent warnings of more appropriate consequences when he is old enough.

In the meantime just redirect his attention. Please don't smack.

Blu Thu 20-Sep-12 09:30:15

Excellent post, Goldmandra.

milkyjo Sat 22-Sep-12 14:24:07

Isn't smacking illegal? I thought the law was changed to say it wasn't allowed, or was it just in public? But fine to beat up your kids at home?

Belmo Sat 22-Sep-12 14:28:45

That really is an awful, horrible thing to do.

scarlettsmummy2 Sat 22-Sep-12 15:47:36

You are allowed to smack as long as you use only your hand and don't leave marks? And I think there may be a bit about only when the child risks endangering themselves but I could be wrong.

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