practical help needed for mum of hyper 2 year old

[Cha]

My friend is going through hell. She has a 2 month old baby and a 2 year old son who is very hard work. I am in the same boat re number / age of children, but my dd is much easier than her ds and I have no idea how she gets through the day. I am watching her gradually get more and more beaten into the ground by the daily awfulness of it all.
I would hesitate to say her son is hyperactive, i am not an expert and from what I have read on mumsnet, 'true' hyperactive's are nothing like her ds. I would describe him as a normal toddler, just turned up full volume. He is very excitable and has terrible tantrums but is a sweet, loving, bright little boy who just hasn't got a hang of controlling himself yet. I am sure this will come. However, in the meantime, does anyone have any advice? Her dh works all hours and she has no break from it apart from two mornings a week when he goes to nursery. Her baby is gradually 'waking up' and will soon be needing more of her attention, but she cannot look at him or talk to him for more than a moment before she is off, trying to sort out world war 3 with ds1. Her health visitor suggested a trainee nanny from a college down the road - they provide their services free as it is work experience - but she has had no joy in getting hold of anyone. We live in S London.

[SPACLINE]

I have a similar problem,my 6 yr old son is very demanding & hyper & my 3 yr old son has autism & cannot speak.Its very difficult to spend quality time with my youngest as my eldest constantly wants my undivided attention.I had to separate them,leaving 1 with a relative for an hour while I took 1 to a playgroup.It is very wearing & I cant take them anywhere together.Ive recentely applied for a place at the SPACE play scheme in the school holidays so 1 can go & be left while I spend time with the other.Also the family support scheme so both can go while I get to sleep or shop etc.Im not sure if these are available outside Cornwall,I think they will be,or if theyre just for special needs children youll have to ask your health visitor.If not the child will soon be old enough for a free nusery place which is a God send believe me!

[WedgiesMum]

I have a list of enumbers to cut out of the diet if that will help - contact me through mumsnet. It has helped me with my DS and helped to take the edge off his activities. She could also try cutting out orange juice, giving him organic white bread, cutting out wholewheat foods and giving a vitamin supplement. These are all things that have been recommended to a friend by the Hyperactive Childrens Society (not just for children with ADHD, but with 'milder' hyperactivity too). HTH

[anais]

Maryz has some excellent suggestions - removing the sources of some of the frustrations is a big help.

I also think Wedgiesmum has a good point about looking at his diet.

Hs she thought of groups like tumbletots or taking him swimming - just as a way of focussing his energy a bit. Also, when I posted on a similar theme trampolines were suggested - they are very good for getting rid of quick bursts of energy.

Otherwise, sympathy - I'm a single mum and in a similar situation, although both of mine are older now.

[suedonim]

Has your friend tried Homestart? They run schemes to help parents through the maze of childrearing. I think you'd find them in your Yellow Pages or your council or HV could tell you where to contact them.

[Cha]

Thanks for your ideas. Will email about diet. He is fed very well - absolutely no junk, but I didn't know that orange juice could have an adverse affect. Trampoline also a good idea, they're only about £20 from ToysRus, will recommend for Xmas! Taking him swimming etc on her own is out of the question at the moment as she cannot take him on the bus because she can't control him and the baby together. He screams blue murder on all car journeys anywhere! Will check out the Homestart and the Hyperactive Childrens Society websites if they have them.