I know when you're a mum you're pretty much held to ransom by the opinions of various strangers / government studies / advertising agencies etc, but how do you deal with it when it's in your own house?
Due to a long & winding set of tricky circumstances involving debt & the threat of marriage breakdown, my husband & I are living with our 3yo girl at my parents' house. We have not much privacy, as you can guess, and due to the hours my husband is working and my new job not starting for another couple of weeks, we are all around the house A LOT (my parents are retired).
Our little girl is going through what I consider to be fairly typical 3yo behaviour, she's started pre-school having never been to a nursery setting as a younger toddler, and sometimes she acts up a bit in a very boundary-testing way, but she isn't really badly behaved.
My husband, who has piled a lot of stress onto himself because of the circumstances, but who previously looked after her at home for a year whilst I worked, is convinced this is because she is over-tired, especially since she has been ill a lot recently. He is getting very insistent that she have a long nap in the middle of the day (basically put her down after lunch and let her sleep until she wakes up). My parents, who looked after her for a month whilst we were sorting out the moving in, believe it's just down to her age and she should be allowed to get on with it. There are quite anti- the daytime nap and think an earlier bedtime is the solution. It's worth noting that while she's been ill we've tried earlier bedtime (resulted in constant night waking and asking to come in our bed, then going to Grandma & Grandad when that didn't work). For the last 2 days I have gone with my husband's wishes and given her the nap, and for the last 2 nights, although she's taken a bit longer to settle, she has slept through with only a brief wake to cough well before midnight). She is grizzly after the nap for a short period but my husband's view is that this is because we haven't let her sleep long enough.
My parents will be her daytime carers once I start work, so I'm under a lot of pressure to let them do things in a way that fits in with them. My husband takes it very personally if I disagree with his advice, particularly since the last few days do bear out that he has a point...
So how do I get myself the space to work out what I think is the best response, and how do I stick to it when everyone around me has their own valid and relevant views?
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Behaviour/development
Torn between opinions...
5 replies
Hollyberry30 · 07/10/2011 15:32
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