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Please help me get some perspective....

(8 Posts)
lovingthepeaceandquiet Tue 04-Oct-11 19:55:18

Dd is 4.6 and has just started school. She is a pretty complex little thing - bright but is struggling socially I feel.

Today, she tells me that she has been in trouble for pinching another little girl and had to stand by the teacher's desk. I'm REALLY gutted sad. Really gutted. I know she can be bossy and stroppy with her peers (which I'm already worried about) but she's never been physical with other children.

Please could you experienced parents out there reassure me that this is a phase and how I can best deal with this?? I just feel like she's not going to have any friends at school and will turn into the child no one likes sad.

I'm currently on anti-depressants and don't know if I'm over reacting (I have a feeling I probably am).

Choufleur Tue 04-Oct-11 19:56:35

Kids are often horrid to each other. So long as it's a one off I wouldn't worry too much. I would try to find out why she did it though.

ANTagony Tue 04-Oct-11 20:03:30

I think we all feel at some stage our children struggle socially. We want so much for them. I'm mum to three (7, 5 and eight months). They are all very different and have all had different phases.

My favourite mantra to parenthood is 'what ever it is its a phase'.

Pinching another child and telling you about it is not a disastrous thing. The school appear to be on top of the situation and if it was a regular thing or they had an issue they'd have called you in.

I'm sure all children express themselves physically at some point in their early years. Dealt with fairly but firmly, as it sounds the school have done, shes not likely to want to do it again in a rush.

Are there any children that your daughter has identified with more than others that maybe you could invite over or arrange along with their parent to go to the park with after school?

Making contact with other mums in your immediate network might give you a different perspective on how your child is perceived and generally we're all hard on our own and get glowing reports from others.

lovingthepeaceandquiet Tue 04-Oct-11 20:04:49

Thanks for the reply. She can't explain why she did it. She did say that the other girl didn't cry so I'm thinking it couldn't have been hard, but that's certainly not the point!

lovingthepeaceandquiet Tue 04-Oct-11 20:07:05

Thanks ANT, I shall try to remember that mantra smile. It's so hard though!

cory Tue 04-Oct-11 22:26:18

<passes perspective to the OP>

you don't have to do anything: the teacher has dealt with it

what happens in school is her job, your job is to make teacher-supportive noises

it may well be that being punished once is enough for her

but if not teacher will be used to the idea of perseverance

my mantra <through gritted teeth> used to be "child-rearing is work in progress"

suebfg Tue 04-Oct-11 22:31:37

My DS (4 yrs old) has been on the receiving end of this sort of thing. If he ever did that to another child, I'd give him a right telling off. I'd like to think other parents would do the same ...

lovingthepeaceandquiet Wed 05-Oct-11 10:44:22

Thanks Cory.

I've had very stern words with her suebfg. I didn't want to go ott as she'd already been punished at school but hopefully she got the message loud and clear.

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