pre-schooler behaviour issues - ideas please

[radiohelen]

OK for the most part my ds is lovely. He is 3 and has a lot of energy and aggression. We get a lot of running up to people, friends and strangers, standing with one fist forwards and roaring at them. He will put himself in front of people to stop them so he can do it. He gets really cross about little things like others playing with something in the "wrong" way and then he throws things, hits and scratches. He gets really frustrated about stuff but has always been a highly strung kid. This is happening every day. The throwing stuff is really starting to get out of control.

I use the naughty step and my friend has noticed by the time I've finished his warning he's already chucked something a second time and he doesn't get to the step cos he's done it before I've finished talking to him. I've got a cracking bruise on my temple tonight cos I got a phone box in the face earlier - he didn't go on the step for that because it bloody hurt and I was wiping my own damn tears and talking myself out of tanning his backside.

I've also got toilet issues with him. He was done for wees and he's dry at night but in the last couple of weeks he's started having accidents every day. He doesn't poo anywhere but in his pants, usually along with a wee. I have been ignoring, cleaning and suggesting the toilet since July. The weeing is new though.

Your thoughts gratefully appreciated. Insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results.... we need to do something different.

[JeanBodel]

The first thing that strikes me about your post is that you say your son has a lot of energy.

Is he getting enough exercise? An easy way to test this is to take him swimming for a morning. If you find he's reasonably docile after lunch, then maybe taking him for long walks or similar will help.

You say he gets frustrated. Something that helped me with my son was teaching him to recognise his feelings and talk about them, rather than expressing frustration through violence. This book is very good for this sort of thing. It worked for us.