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My dd is streets behind her peers in some ways - she really needs to make friends but it's getting in the way!

(6 Posts)
specialsmasher Fri 30-Sep-11 16:28:54

My dd for some reason has always been very cautious / fearful in the playground or with any physical stuff. I don't think she has special needs as such, but she is not at the same level as her peers.

She has just started school and is the only one in her class who didn't arrive with ready-made friends. Naturally I'm really keen that she should make friends and feel a part of the group as soon as possible. Other parents have been kind, and she was invited to a playground session after school today.

It was a nightmare, basically. The other little girls were pelting round / swinging off bars / flying round on the roundabout, etc. My dd tried to join in but got scared - she doesn't want me to help but can't climb much without help. She ended up screaming for the other children to stop the roundabout and I had to go and rescue her. The end result was a great many tears and upset - we left in the end as I didn't want her to be upset any longer, even though the others were all staying. INevitably, she didn't play with the girls with whom she would like to be friends - they drifted off really.

Arggh! I'm so worried that she will lose the small confidence she has (in all other areas she's fine and doesn't lack confidence) and most importantly will find herself on the outside socially.

Any tips? sad

specialsmasher Fri 30-Sep-11 16:50:42

Bump. Just in case!

MurunBuchstansangur Fri 30-Sep-11 16:56:56

Can you enrol her in a drama club or something like that?

Playground session is not the place for her to make friends, but a non-sporty group might be a good idea? Play to her strengths?

specialsmasher Fri 30-Sep-11 17:04:10

That makes a lot of sense, Murun. I just wish she cd get the same pleasure from it as the others - it's what they all do after school...

mrswoodentop Fri 30-Sep-11 17:05:06

One to one play sessions and tea would probably be less daunting.Perhaps with some sort of craft.

LunarRose Fri 30-Sep-11 17:10:04

Invite home some friends, as many as possible as often as possible. It might help to have some kind of structured activity on hand just in case e.g. baking, colouring, crafty type things, simple games.

In our case the first play dates we had were a disaster and what with one thing and another we didn't bother for the first year of school. With the benefit of hindsight this was a mistake. Now I've really made it a priority and things are better for her, thankfully the play dates are getting easier too.

It sounds like you get on alright with the parents, which was an issue for me as I didn't really know anyone and am not he most sociable creature myself.

Don't worry she'll be fine smile

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