DS just turned 5, acting extremely out of character, testosterone surges????

[mumofsaffronjasper]

My ds turned 5 in august, he has just gone into yr 1 (second year) of school. He has always been a calm child, quite laid back and sometimes sensitive. The past 3 weeks (it started a week before school started again) he started acting v out of character, angry all the time, aggressive towards his sister (2), v rude towards me and his dad. It has got to a point were at the weekend i didnt know what to do anymore, he completely lost it, i ended up putting him in his bedroom and holding the handle so he couldnt get out. He totally lost it before that, it was all i could do to try and calm him, he was hitting screaming, so angry. It was so upsetting. It was 5 in afternoon, he fell asleep at 6 and slept through. But he hasnt had late nights etc...

Anyway my point to all this is since he was 2 everytime ha had a growth spurt he has had 3/4 days of being a bit like this (not nearly as bad) and then it goes, this has been going on for 3 weeks now though. Someone mentioned to me at 5 boys often have a testosterone surge? I cant find anything on this but it would make sense. Does anyone know? Any advise? I feel like i have done something wrong and I just dont know what to do

[LizaTarbucksNonSmokingAuntie]

oh my gosh! I never thought of that.....sounds just like littlemad.

Wow, the things you learn on Mumsnet..

[mumofsaffronjasper]

bump

[BustAMove]

I really felt my DS had a testosterone surge at early 5. He went from being v calm, laid back to a complete ball of aggression, full on melt downs, unable to deal with his own emotions at all. Lots of "I hate you mummy", "you're the worst mummy in the world". I just went for the ignore, ignore, ignore approach, although did go into school to see if there had been any changes, there hadn't. It all passed in about 3 weeks, and he went back to being a delightful wee boy again.

[gxmum]

my ds is the same age and doing exactly the same thing. not sure whether to find comfort or not in the fact that some boys seem to pass through this stage after 3 weeks or so - mine has been like it since he finished school in July.

Like yours, he used to be a lovely sweet quiet little boy and is now a rampaging, rude, insolent child who behaves more like a teenager than a five year old. It's driving me to the end of my tether and I am finding it hard not to lose it with him. Am about to try a star chart to see whether this can help steer him in the right direction with his behaviour but any other advice (especially on how to stop constant whinging and spitefulness towards his brother) would be welcome!

[LizaTarbucksNonSmokingAuntie]

littlemad is currently crazy about Steve Backshall and the Deadly 60, so we've drawn up a list of top 10 unacceptable ways to behave - sounds a bit odd I know, but actually because it reminds him of something he likes and that makes him laugh it kind of diffuses the fact that he's done something wrong - so it de-escalates it.

We decided on the top 10 together with him, me and DH so they apply to the whole family.

[mumofsaffronjasper]

Thats a really good idea the top 10 thing, maybe i coudl try something linked to spiderman or superheroes in general!! I did try a different method last night, i ignored amd spoke very calmly and said how dissapointed i was and how upset i have been recently, it seemed to work!

[LizaTarbucksNonSmokingAuntie]

Problem is when they identify a 'red button' to push they will just keep on pushing it eh? I try to limit littlemads opportunity to manipulate me which is why the top 10 is working so well for us, I can deal with all sorts of sticky behaviour without him knowing it riles me!