Tips for controlling ds's rage/emotional outbursts

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

Ds is 8.9 and has always been a highly emotional boy. Dd2 is very similar but can control her outbursts in public, wheras ds can't really.

For example, if he loses at a game, he will sob and sob and also get really angry. He will say that it is the worst day of his life and things like why does this happen to me'. Sometimes this will make him have chest pain, like a panic attack.

If he is angry then he goes absolutly ballistic tbh. He will scream and shout and kick and throw things. He will also say hurtful things and truthful but rude things like.

He is worse at home than at school but last term i did notice this behaviour starting to increase while with friends or in the playground or after school club.

I have several stratigies for avoiding an outburst and thats normally to keep him fully informed of what is going on, what might happen etc so that there are no surprises.

What i find hard to manage is calming him down when he has an outburst. I have tried to get him to count to ten, or to concentrate on his breathing but he can't seem to do it as he is so taken over by his emotions. Sometimes i will just leave him to calm down in his room, especially if he is angry. If he is upset and angry then i try and keep a hold of him and talk to him until he has calmed down.


Is there anything else I can try ??? am worried that if this continues or gets worse (as it has been) then i won't be able to control him at all.

[Jenn1982]

Jo Frost has a balloon blowing up thing. Not sure if it'd be any good in your circumstances, but maybe look it up.

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

Thank's, i'll have a look

[Albrecht]

Poor thing. Sounds like he needs to let it out. Playful Parenting has some stuff about role playing situiations they find difficult (like losing a game - you pretend to be the biggest unhappiest loser, not to mock them but to release the tension). Might be worth a look?

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

That does look good Albrecht, thank's for that. Had never really thought of doing anything like that.

[hmmmum]

I read this book recently called Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina. It talks about how small children can experience big emotions such as frustration which makes them feel freaked out and leads to tantrums etc. But if you help the child to label their feelings, i.e. "i think you are feeling jeaous because you wanted Ally's toy", "you are feeling frustrated because you wanted to stay in the park aren't you?". The books says 'labelling emotions is neurologically calming'. It's like, you talk to the child about their experience to demonstrate you understand what they are going through. Anyway I'm probably not explaining it very well at all, but I recommend the book!