Almost 20 months old and still not walking or talking

[Robsie]

My DS is now almost 20 months old and is still not walking/talking. I am on the brink of making a GP appt but thought I would see if anyone else out there can offer support/advice. DS is a very active, lively little boy who can crawl at an amazing pace and is happily cruising around the furniture and standing (when supported). In fact he spends an awful lot of time standing (clinging on to a piece of furniture). He has taken one or two small steps with great encouragement from myself and DH, but always collapses to the floor. He is fully weight bearing and does not have any unusual habits. He doesn't bottom shuffle or 'crab crawl' or stand on his toes, and he can get up and down the stairs no problem. He sat unaided at about 7 months and crawled at 11 months, nothing particularly late. What is so frustrating is that he appears completely normal in every way, except he just cannot walk. It's driving me mad and although everyone tells me he will walk when he is ready I am starting grow more concerned. My other DS (who is now 5 1/2 yrs old) walked at 14 months and I didn't even give walking a second thought, it just happened. I have always encouraged DS no.2 but am questioning if I have done enough to help him. I now pull him up and make him walk (rather than carry him) as much as I can around the house....he can walking holding my hand and seems to enjoy it and we do this lots. But soon as I let go he is back to crawling. Help!! He also has not said his first word yet which worries me. He babbles and laughs all the time but still has not even said 'mamma' or 'dadda' despite us talking to him all the time and encouraging him. My older DS was also delayed with his speech so I am not all that surprised. Older DS said virtually nothing until he was nearly 3 and I was so worried I took him to a speech therapist who said he was normal and indeed he started to talk shortly after. Both my boys are a joy and have lovely personalities, and I am a stay at home mum who is always with them and nurturing them. I take DS no.2 to Mumbabes every week and messy play and I have lots of friends and a close family so we are always out and about doing things. All in all a very conventional lifestyle. I just don't understand these delays.

[Firsttimer7259]

Make a GP appt just to put your mind at rest. Either GP will say wait or will make a referral. Either way you have nothing to lose.
In terms of telling your GP about whats worrying you try to break down walking and talking into separate elements: for walking is he pulling up, standing etc (sounds like hes quite far along) on talking is he communicating pointing, gestures, signing making noises, does he understand any words (like bath or milk or teddy).
I dont know much about 20 months, my dd is younger and has delays. But I know that GPs etc take you more seriously if you can pinpoint specific skills that are missing rather than say he's not walking (which I think is not seen as a problem until they are 2). So for my girl it was the fact that she wasnt trying to get about rather than the fact that she couldn't crawl yet that got the GP's attention.

[Robsie]

Thankyou that's valuable advice and you are right, walking and talking are two very seperate things. I will make the appt and beforehand make a list of specific things that are worrying me so I am prepared.

[Firsttimer7259]

Im not sure from your response that I was clear enough. I dont mean separating walking from talking but separating each of those into its components and analysing what of thsoe your child has learnt so far. Or perhaps you got this already..

[Robsie]

I do understand what you mean. I have made the GP appt and am taking him this afternoon. I suspect with regards to the walking she will tell me he is just slow, he is after all making progress even if it is very gradual. I would like a second opinion on the speech/communication delay though. Even although my older DS was slow to talk and he is a very chatty boy now, I still worry. DS no. 2 can't wave, point or in any way tell me what he wants, he also hasn't developed any kind of worrying sign language technique or anything like that. He is still just at the baby babbling stage with lots of smiles and that's it. But I think he should have moved on from this by now. I just don't know what else I can do to help him. At least he isn't frustrated, he doesn't seem to care and is very happy. Thank you very much for showing an interest...

[Firsttimer7259]

Good luck, it does sound really promising I think. But I know nothing much. Post again and let me know what happened (if its not too much fuss)

[Robsie]

So the GP was concerned and said DS2 should much be much further along by now. She said if it was just the walking that was an issue she wouldn't be as worried, but because he can't speak either she thinks there could be more to it. She is arranging to get his hearing checked and also for him to have a full developmental check by a pediatrician (it's a 2 hour process that literally checks your child from top to bottom). I was very shaken by it all, but in my heart I knew something was up. It could still be that he is just a very late developer rather than anything more sinister but nevertheless he is going to need some help and as parents we are really worried. Best to face it though, and start helping him as soon as we can. Just thought you would like to know.

[StealthPolarBear]

Glad they are being thorough

[SheCutOffTheirTails]

Well done for trusting your gut and taking him to the GP :)

A full check by a paediatrician will really help - either it will put your mind at ease that your DS2 is just a late developer, or it will identify any potential problems and you can get them treated.

Of course you're worried, but he's still the same lovely, lively little fellow. Nothing has changed, except your perception. Somehow a doctor saying something makes it feel more real, but the doc was only confirming what you knew anyway - best to get him checked out.

Best of luck :)

You sound like a lovely Mum, your boys are lucky to have you.

[ragged]

Don't blame yourself, OP, there's nothing (and I mean NOTHING) you could have done differently. Moreover, he may still suddenly accelerate & develop within the normal range, and it would have been silly to worry yourself unnecessarily before now (which is the soonest they'd have done anything in response to your concerns, no matter how early you raised them, anyway).

Good luck with the upcoming appointments.

[Firsttimer7259]

Hi Robsie that was quick! Thanks for updating, I always find it sad not to hear what happened next. I know its a shock, even when you have worries, it feels surreal to have a dr say 'yes there is something we should investigate'.
Remember that that is all they are saying at the moment and just keep on enjoying your boy.
Theres a couple of threads on the special needs board with people waiting on the results of investigations into developmental delays. I find them helpful as its people in a similar situation to me (Altho it was really difficult to go on that board the first time.) Plus there are some posters who know lots of really useful stuff. Like Hanen for instance and where to get it cheap...

Good luck and well done for spotting the delay and getting expert input. That is the best thing for your child and many people don't manage to do this at all until much much later. Big hug xx

[Robsie]

Thank you all, I love my boys more than anything and whatever hand I am dealt I will tackle it head on. If there is something amiss with DS2 then I would rather face it now and know I am doing all that I can to help him. This weekend is hard, digesting what the doctor has said and now looking at my gorgeous boy in a different light and searching for signs to explain why his development is delayed. I know I won't get any answers until he is seen by the specialist, so until then I will try hard not to scrutinise his every move and just carry on living normally. Thanks everyone, your kind words have helped ease my pain.

[Sabu1234]

Hello @Robsie hope you are well! How is your little boy doing now, he must be playing in a football team by now I’m sure. I am also in a very similar situation. My little one is now almost 15m and still not crawling and nowhere near walking. She just about sits properly now without having to put cushions behind her. We are now waiting for an appointment but everything is very delayed with lockdown.

[Abouttimemum]

Hi DS is 20 months (he was 6 weeks early so really is a little younger) and he doesn’t walk. Because he was premature he has a paediatrician and physiotherapist and neither are worried. He has all the ‘building blocks’ for walking which you describe (except he hates walking holding hands!!!)
He’s had all the tests and he’s fine. His ankles are still quite bendy apparently so we have exercises for this. He can achieve what he wants from crawling so they say he feels like he doesn’t need to walk or see the benefit yet. He goes to nursery and all the kids there walk and I thought that might help, but nope!
Round here they refer at 18 months so if I was you I’d ask for a referral to be checked but I’m sure he’s fine. They don’t check my DS again until he’s 2 corrected at which point they said they would probably look into other support if he still wasn’t walking. He sees his physio every month.
DS has been late with everything, he says mamma but nothing else.
I do worry about it but he’s so good with his fine motor skills that I think he’s more interested in that side of things.
He does look odd crawling around the park when little babies are on their feet. He’s massive!!

[Abouttimemum]

Oh sorry - I hadn’t realised this was an old thread!!!

[FinnsMammy]

Hi @abouttimemum just wondering how your little boy is doing now my little bit just turned 20 months and still isn’t walking or talking yet so I’m a bit concerned. Thanks x

[Abouttimemum]

Hi @FinnsMammy He actually started walking at the end of November, so about two weeks after that post. He was 20 months exactly pretty much. He’s still quite unsteady in his feet and needs support on stairs and things but he’s been checked and he’s fine.

He started talking at the turn of the year, it just came from nowhere really and in the space of a couple of weeks in March he went from single words to two words and that’s sort of exploded now and he copies everything. So he was 2 before he started talking properly. He’s 2.2 now.

I think if you’re concerned you should follow your gut instinct and speak to you GP. They were never particular concerned about DS because he had a good understanding and could follow instructions etc before he could speak or walk.

Defo follow your instinct but try not to worry too much if he seems ok in other ways.

Take care x

[FinnsMammy]

Hi @Abouttimemum thanks for replying. I tried to hit reply there and almost hit report by accident lol. I have a few concerns which I raised at his 15 month check. At 18 months we saw a physio who basically said he is able to walk it’s just a confidence thing and he’s much happier bum shuffling so I’m not overly concerned there as I know there’s nothing physically wrong and he will walk in time he climbs the stairs and cruises everywhere so he gets around .With the talking we ended up going privately and had our first Speech and language session yesterday but we will only see her once every 2 weeks so not sure if this will help much. His fine motor skills are ok I looked at the milestones and he’s in track with almost everything except the pointing with the index finger he still doesn’t do this and this was always my main concern and the reason I flagged it at 15 months! I hoping he starts pointing soon. I have read that lack of pointing is a sign of autism but I don’t feel my cheeky social little guy fits the profile but if it is autism then I will deal with it head on he’s going to be who is going to be. Thanks for your update xx

[Exploringsunset]

Hi. We have the same concerns with our toddler who is now 15 months and is not walking or talking. They make sounds but nothing constructive / no babbles. They can pull up to furniture but doesn’t move once standing. Similar to earlier posts, they don’t seem to otherwise fit the autism profile: they smile at us, good eye contact, good head control. They have also not been exposed to playgroups much since covid hit. Keen to hear thoughts please x