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Help! My son has sleep problems - how do I establish a sleep routine, get him to sleep through the night and should I try "controlled crying'???

(14 Posts)
Kiki84 Sat 09-Jul-11 20:51:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 09-Jul-11 21:24:56

oh isn't it hard

IMO 7 months is too young to do controlled crying

Dr Jay Gordon article on a very gentle method, but best to wait til he's one

All of this is normal, teething disturbing his night time pattern, his daytime naps a bit haphazard. Have you tried pulling his lunch forward or pushing it back a bit to get a longer stretch of daytime nap?

piggybank Sat 09-Jul-11 22:21:11


Can I quietly recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution? I say quietly because my boy of 18mo has just started sleeping through the night two weeks ago (7pm to 7am). And -- whisper it: he has not dropped his 2 hour morning nap. Long may it continue. Until the next set of molars that is!!!!

Ugh, teething. My DS is the worst teether. It sounds like yours is the same. Crying on and off all night. Me laying beside the cot holding hands through the bars for several hours, weeks, nay, months at a time. Awful. I have dozed on the floor of that room so many times. Every time I let go of his hand and think he's asleep he starts again. Sometimes I let go and he's quiet and then as I stand up, my elbows crack and he starts crying again.


I used to formula feed on demand every time he woke up. I suspected he wasn't actually hungry but he was very slow to wean (would only have milk until almost 11 months). So I stopped the feeding and would exclusively cuddle him through it along side calpol, obviously.

The No Cry Sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers really helped to break our existing routines and create new routines in a systematic way. I posted earlier tonight about how my husband helped break habits and maybe your DP or a friend could help you break the cycle at night? The author Elizabeth Pantley also addresses breast feeding and breaking this habit which might help.

We started a new routine at 13 months. I saw improvement after 2 weeks of a new hour long quiet/wind down routine that I created after reading this book. I used the same routine at nap and bed time and DS's nap time settled into a consistent time slot in the morning.

BUt it takes time. Although he would go down well after 2 weeks, my ds was still crying and having tantrums in the middle of the night for some time after due to teething and prob will again with the next teeth.

I also recommend a very dark room for naps and bed. And a body clock for fade down at nap/bed and fade up at the same time every morning. Get a reburbished one here MONEY WELL SPENT!

Geez, this is my second long post of the evening. Sorry it so long!

Hope it helps!

Sidge Sat 09-Jul-11 22:24:41

He doesn't have sleep problems - he's a baby!!

He's probably teething. Have you tried giving him some Calpol at bedtime? Lying down to sleep can increase pressure and so pain in the gums, cheeks and ears.

Udderly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:31:25

My baby is the very same. 8 mths old. Has woken twice already since 7.30. Will wake another 3 times tonight. Not really interested in solids and snacks rather than drinks full bottles. I b'feed her back to sleep at night and that works sometimes. I've read the No Cry Sleep Solution but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. She has a lovely bedtime routine and goes down easily, its the waking up thats the problem. I am also considering controlled crying.

piggybank Sat 09-Jul-11 22:34:23

Just another note n the body clock -

Reviews on body clocks always advocates the benefits of a simulated 'natural' wake up but largely ignore the benefits of the light fade down "dusk" setting. In a blacked out darkened room, the fade down is highly effective for training baby/toddler sleep, for bed and naps -- in my experience anyway.

It's lethal for parents too in that my DH and I frequently nod off on the job as the light goes down.

piggybank Sat 09-Jul-11 22:38:50

Udderly, you're right the NCSS helps the put down but not the wake ups. We also considered controlled crying but our situation seemed to improve as DS's separation anxiety also eased up.

Sidge Sat 09-Jul-11 22:51:10

Udderly before going down the CC route try some pain relief, just for one night and see if it helps.

Babies can have between 2 and 8 teeth erupt between the ages of 6 and 12 months so she could be really uncomfortable.

DuelingFanjo Sat 09-Jul-11 22:52:00

I wouldn't advise Controlled crying and unfortunately have no other solutions but have to say my 6.5 mth old is exactly the same.

Does he cry a lot? I have never let my DS cry for any length of time and it seems a backwards step to do CC because I would be creating a situation where he suddenly has the need to cry.

I am trying to Shush him to sleep when he wakes up between 7 and 2 and it seems to work but I still have him waking between and 7 several times. We co-sleep so I just feed him but am hoping this changes before I go back to work.

Udderly Sat 09-Jul-11 23:03:06

Her first tooth did come up 2 weeks ago, so she has been getting calpol. It doesn't make any difference, she wakes the same way regardless of teething/pain relief or not. She flips herself over when she wakes and cries alot. I really really don't want to go down the controlled crying route, but anyone who does it seems to have a baby that sleeps through the night within a week. Apologies for the total thread hijack OP!!

AgainWhen Sat 09-Jul-11 23:48:40

We solved this problem by co sleeping until DD was about 18 months and often still do. We are not particularly hippyish types but we're all happier as a consequence.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sat 09-Jul-11 23:53:55

Personally I would try to get the day time naps into a routine where he is used to going into his cot awake and calm and getting himself to sleep. Night time, you're tired, he's tired, it's all just too much. Establish a routine in the day time and then the nights will hopefully fall into place as he's used to settling himself back to sleep. Hopefully.

Kiki84 Sun 10-Jul-11 09:47:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Sun 10-Jul-11 11:42:49

Kiki my ds found his own routine at around 9m iirc. Like your's his naps were erratic and so i read his ques. Trying to put him in to a routine before then would have been hell.

Don't rule out hunger. He might not be but also he might! (my ds sometimes needed solids in the night as well as bf till recently. I know i bang on about this on every thread but i get sick of people telling tired mums their baby "shouldn't" be hungry in the night.)

Fwiw we have always followed ds's ques re routine etc and never done any "sleep training" and ds started sleeping through of his own accord at 15m.

It gets worse before it gets better as there are periods of developmental wierdness etc.

Your ds doesn't have sleep problems, he is very normal. However if you are not getting enough sleep that is a problem. I recommend cosleeping to help with that. Don't won't have to do that forever. smile

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