Only takes comfort from breast - feeling like a prisoner (just venting)

[JumpJockey]

DD2 is 5 months, has always been quite windy and a bad sleeper, wakes every couple of hours all night. Last few weeks she's started having a couple/ three major crying jags a day from which the only comfort is breast - she used to suck her thumb but has stopped, used to suck DH's finger but now won't do that, has never taken to a dummy. Tiger in the tree, cycling her legs, playing calming music etc, none of these things work and all that will stop the screaming is boob. She's not hungry, just wants to suck, and as a result I feel utterly imprisoned by her at the moment. People have offered to take her out but I know all I'll be thinking is if she's screaming there's nothing they can do to stop it.

One of these is always at about 6pm when I'm trying to get DD1 to bed, other one usually when we're out and about in the buggy so I get old ladies tutting at me and find myself wanting to shout at them asking if they've got any helpful suggestions. Not teething, we give her the granules anyway just in case. Not tiredness as often she'll have had a decent nap not long before. I've been taking her to a cranial osteopath but that's made no noticeable difference. I am just so effing tired and shouting at her and I know that doesn't help. And I'm sure this will pass eventually, but DD1 never did this and I just get so angry with her her being so reliant on me and not giving me a break ever.

No replies needed as there's not much anyone can do, just needed to vent. She's currently on a playmat screaming away behind a closed door while I try to breathe deeply :(

[WestYorkshireGirl]

JumpJockey I am replying as this is exactly what my DD is like (22 weeks tomorrow). Today she has spent most of the day crying or refusing to feed or going on for comfort and then coming off. She comfort sucks a lot at night and wakes me 4-5 times, but won't have a proper feed. She has never napped in the day unless walked around in a sling. I have been beside myself with trying to soothe her and sometimes nothing works and as a first time Mum have been really frustrated that she doesn't do what other babies do. I have got a new HV who came out this week and she told me that babies can go a bit haywire from 16 weeks as they get ready for a developmental change. Don't know if this explains things, and don't think there are any magic answers, but thought I'd let you know you are not alone and it's damn frustrating.

[JumpJockey]

Hi WYG. Well we may have an answer (possibly!) in that she started commando crawling yesterday - so I'm hoping that the extreme grumpiness is a result of her brain being a bit sore at the new things going on inside her head. I know there's the big 4 month meltdown where everything goes mad, though we didn;t really feel it so much because she'd never been a 'dream' baby up til then - I tend not to have much pity for people who complain at bad nights because previously their baby slept 6 hours in a row... .

One thing we found vaguely helpful with DD1 was the Wonder Weeks, have you heard about that? It mentions the developmental things that make them extra grumpy or extra cheerful. www.thewonderweeks.com/images/stories/Book/WW_info_chart.pdf
we stuck this on the wall in the kitchen, and would say "Only another 4 weeks til she's out from under the cloud"! though this dd doesn't seem to be matching up to the dates very well since she's been grumpy at a time she's meant to have been happy. Worth a try though!

[naturalbaby]

my baby is 20weeks and wouldn't take a dummy, but i kept at it for this reason! it's bit of a catch 22 and i do want rid of it so he can self settle better at night but i'd rather put a dummy in than my boob. if you want your baby to suck a dummy instead of you then you can keep trying (obviously not when she's hysterical, but before she gets too worked up).

i have a willing and very available babysitter but can only leave baby for around an hour before he starts screaming/crying hysterically for me. and he's been shouting at me all morning to sit on my hip so everything i do has a baby on my hip - can't change his big brother's nappy holding baby though!

[snailoon]

Mine were like this at times. Ditch the buggy and carry her around letting her suck on the go, if that seems possible to you. It worked for our three, and they became extremely independent kids.

[JumpJockey]

snail - I've tried many a time but never managed to get her to feed in the sling. She's very long so hard to gert the combo of body/mouth/boob in the right places!

[WestYorkshireGirl]

Good tip about the Wonder Weeks - sometimes I feel it will be like this forever..... night times are terrible at the mo - feeding won't soothe her - she just cries hysterically. Last night she conked out after a few hours and tonight I've had to put her in the sling. She hasn't had a decent feed since 5pm. Will take her out shortly and hope the nap will have broken the cycle and she'll feed to sleep. Natutalbaby keep trying the dummy but it gets rejected every time!

[naturalbaby]

westyorkshiregirl - sounds like you're going through a really tough time with your dd! when mine is really unsettled overnight i turn on the light and start clumping around in a strop, waking dh up (if he wasn't already!). i get in a real flap about him self settling cause i had a tough time getting my older 2 to self settle but am so tired i just end up co-sleeping. he looked at me with a big grin like it was wake up time at 4am then i managed to get him to feed lying down and he fell back asleep for a few hours.

[hophophippidtyhop]

Just a thought, though it might not be right - my dd was always feeding every couple of hours, very windy, crying only comforted by bfing, and she had silent reflux. She was also quite sick and wheezyy, which I found out at 9 months was milk protein allergy. Might be worth looking into - the difference in her since cutting out dairy are amazing.