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18 month old starting to slap when frustrated

(5 Posts)
ShellJacko Sun 05-Jun-11 22:40:35

My 18 month old ds has recently started slapping my face when he is frustrated or upset - normally when I have told him no to trying to eat a whole tin of biscuits or when out walking, picking him up to cross the road as that is where he decides to sit and view the scenery! I realise this has alot to do with his frustration as he is desperately trying to talk but has anyone got any tips on how to manage this? Im using my firm 'NO' but Im worried that he will do this to someone else, plus it is embarrassing while out and about.

hester Sun 05-Jun-11 22:46:50

My 20 month old does this. Also throws books at me, pulls her sister's hair and wallops the TV. Very, very annoying and very hard not to react with anger.

On a good day, I say No firmly but calmly, and move out of her orbit so she can't make contact.

On a bad day, I shout at her blush

Is ds your first? Because, second time round, I feel far less alarmed by this behaviour. It will pass, so long as you don't reward or reinforce it.

ShellJacko Sun 05-Jun-11 23:01:15

Its such a relief to hear someone else say they are experiencing the same smile. Yes DS is my first which is why Im slightly panicking but thank you for the reassurance that this phase will pass. Today was a bad day and my NO did turn into a shout, feel bad but the slap hurt and I was shocked. Thanks again for the advice smile

AngelDog Sun 05-Jun-11 23:17:24

This is what I've done with things like biting and seem to have helped:

"Biting hurts. Touch gently, please." Take DC's hand and demonstrate the desired behaviour (maybe a gentle stroke on the cheek).

I find it helps to acknowledge their feelings too e.g. "it's frustrating, isn't it?" and to explain as much as possible what's going to happen in advance (say you'll pick him up just before you do it) and explain why you're doing things. Saying things positively (what you do want them to do) tends to work better than 'no' IME.

But yes, it is a phase.

hester Mon 06-Jun-11 00:09:29

Hope it will make you feel even more relieved to know that this weekend dd: smacked and pinched me; stamped on the cat; repeatedly pulled her sister's hair and scratched her arms; threw a book at me when I told her to stop attacking the TV; threw water all over the floor and, when I asked her to stop, deliberately hurled a glass jar onto the tiled floor. And laughed.

And yet I often describe her as sweet-natured and easy to care for. Goes to show how battle-hardened and thickskinned you are by the second time around grin

Honestly, try not to worry. Above all, don't give him a big reaction because that will thrill him. If he's still doing this in a couple of years, you have full permission to worry. But I'd be surprised if he's still doing this by Christmas.

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