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what should a 15mth old do? and how should i be interacting with him?

(17 Posts)
DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 27-May-11 00:08:29

Just getting a bit concerned that DS is not really being stimulated enough, and he's not developing as he should be.

Part of this is because I have to work, and I am ill so I can't do things with him, and his father who looks after him 4 days a week doesn't do much with him (lots of sitting in front of tv and sleeping).

Am finding this really distressing, and am so worried he's not developing ...

Can you tell me what a 15 mth old should be doing and what kind of things they enjoy at this age? I can at least see if i do have something to be worried about, and try and do a bit more with him when i can...

He can't talk or walk, he burbles alot but no words, not even mama. He's standing up and holding onto things, but every other baby i know is walking & really firm on their feet.

Alot of the 12 mth toys seem too hard for him to master, like (v simple) jigsaws/ shape sorters/ stacking rings, and he ends up crying and getting very frustrated when he plays with them so I've taken them away for the moment.

VforViennetta Fri 27-May-11 00:31:44

Oh bless, not every child is walking and talking at this age, my ds1 wasn't. None of my children have ever really taken to jigsaws/stacking things really, even dd who was talking well and walking by that age.

IME, and I'm quite slack tbh blush children of that age just enjoy bumbling about and exploring, crawling about in the garden, being pushed on the swings.

My ds2 is 19 months and although he walks and has a few words, he doesn't sit and play with toys much. He does like musical toys (singing bears/keyboards for eg) he likes cars and things too.

He spends most of his time exploring and looking for mischief, but most enjoys interacting with his family, he will sit on my lap and I will read a couple of pages of a book before he turns the pages and says no. I will sing incey wincey spider before he says no and does a finger waggle at me grin, he really likes the no thing.

Luckily he has two older siblings, but his most favourite things are cuddles and tickles. As long as he is talked to and interacted with he will be fine, if you work I would just spend nice quiet time with him, let him lead.

The human race survived a long time without plastic tat and toys to stimulate.

MavisEnderby Fri 27-May-11 00:34:55

Can he pull himself up to standing?Does he crawl/bumshuffle?

Speech wise you say "burbles" are there a vast range of burbling sounds?

VforViennetta Fri 27-May-11 00:41:39

By your reply Mavis, I assume you actually know what 15 month olds should actually be doing, listen to her, not my waffling.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 27-May-11 00:43:56

yes he does crawl, crawled at 11 months, and burbles with lots of different sounds, just started to within the last 2 weeks actually, just none actually assigned to anything...

thanks for your cheerfulness V, you are indeed right, the human race survived a long time without plastic tat... i guess I've just got a bit worried/ paranoid as all baby friends seem miles ahead of him, and one (well meaning) mother does keep saying that its probably because DS can sense the instability in his life.

You did remind me, he loves books, and he tries to repeat hand gestures i always make as i read them, like drawing around the outside of the moon etc... that seems pretty good right?

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 27-May-11 00:49:36

ok, see here is my worriedness... according to babycentre, 90% of babies can walk by 15 months...

and 75% of babies have 'a vocabulary that consists of "Mama" and "Dada" plus at least three other words, and of course the all-time toddler favorite, "No!". A typical 15-month-old can also follow simple commands, such as "Bring me your shoes," or "Put the book down." She also understands the meanings of phrases such as "No," "Come here," "Show me," and "Look."

so he doesn't do any of that... as for the concept of following commands, he doesn;t even turn his head when i say his name ...

MavisEnderby Fri 27-May-11 01:04:09

I think he is maybe just a late developersmileI am by no means an expert,just a mum with a special needs child who wasn't hitting milestonessmileDouble if you are worried please see your HV/gP.fwiw I buried my head in the sand about dd issues thinking "Oh she has an older brother and hes doing it for her"I didn't want to think about the fallout if not so...but seriously do get referred if you are worried.Like I say probably all fine,ACCORDING TO YOUR STATS 25% WON'T BE DOING THIS STUFF,I was DEVASTATED when I found my child had SN (and like i said it is probably he is just a late developer) but now? 2 years on I have a "Quirky" Child.She is lovely fab and brings me great joy.Isn't easy but by no means the end of the world.She is she,unique,different,but mine.I love her unconditionalllysmile

VforViennetta Fri 27-May-11 01:09:17

I would be slightly worried at the doesn't turn his head thing(get his hearing checked, could be glue ear), but honestly he is very little. My ds1 didn't walk until 18 months and fair enough he had a speech delay, but didn't talk until over 2.

He is almost 5 now and his speech has come on leaps and bounds, he had an assessment for his speech, but the service is so slow that by the time he was due for any group thing he was fine.

The imitating hand gestures ect is a great sign, children are all so so different. If I was you I would go to your HV or Gp and ask for their opinion, I'm not sure if they would refer to speech services so early, but it's worth it to even get on the list/put your mind at rest.

The least they can do is offer you a hearing test, although you may need to actually push for this.

I had a very advanced dd, did everything before schedule, could read at 3 yada yada. Ds1 was a different kettle of fish, he sounds very very similar to your ds. Don't compare your child to others, it's not worth it, like I say get him checked out, but not meeting milestones as decreed by babycentre isn't some kind of inevitable life sentence. smile

MavisEnderby Fri 27-May-11 01:22:07

what Vienetta sayssmilechildren are all uniquesmilefrom what you have said he is doing "normal" stuff in gross motor and speech aspects.I accessed HV at 18 months when i realised dd was not doing the norms,i bet you he will do it all soon,if not DO see your HV smile XX

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 27-May-11 01:45:57

oooh, can they do hearing tests this young? i would really like him to have one, as i am worried about that, he doesn;t look up when i come into the room or come in saying ds helloooo i'm back... that kind of thing. no one else has noticed it though, so dont know if im being paranoid...

MavisEnderby Fri 27-May-11 01:48:23

Yes definitely,just see yuor gp/hv and explain concernssmileyou aren't being paranoid you are his mum and there 24/7smile

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 27-May-11 01:53:54

ok, brilliant, i feel much better, no worrying over the walking / talking, but plan of action for hearing... thanks very much

Parietal Fri 27-May-11 03:40:34

Don't worry about no talking - lots of children don't say much until 18/19 months and then suddenly get language and say new words everyday. Similarly, plenty of kids don't walk until later, especially if they crawl well and don't need to walk.

Babies don't need much in terms of toys at this age, and lots of things that are sold are just silly. A basic set of plastic stacking cups were my DDs favourite toy - she learnt to hide things inside, move them around etc. And lots of reading is good.

One more anecdote - my sister didn't walk or talk until 2 yrs and was refered to speech therapy etc. Never had the therapy and is now a corporate lawyer with dance as a serious hobby. So starting late is not necessarily a bad sign.

Katy1368 Fri 27-May-11 03:50:53

Yes agree with all posters - not walking at 15months is not a concern, my DD didn't walk until 20 months, in fact wasn't even moving at a year old so if your LO is crawling he is way ahead of where she was! Also my DD hardly spoke at all at 15 months just tons of the burbling you mention, She has prooved to be a late speaker but has come on leaps and bounds all of a sudeen and neither late walking or talking seem to have caused a problem.

This other mum who you mention who keeps going on about your LO sensing the "instability" at home - I would ignore her, sounds a little patronising IMHO, is she an expert in your homelife?! Is it any of her business anyway or just designed to make you feel bad and show how superior her little one?! I have an inbuilt bullshit detector for competitive mums and it sounds like this may be so.

JellyBellies Fri 27-May-11 03:56:39

Wow, im gladni didnt know about that statistic! ;)
DS didnt walk till 17 months. And he onky started talking at 2.

Didnt stress about the talking as i was a late talker too and i could see that he did understand instructions. But i dont remeber if he could understand that much at 15 months? That seems like a lot.

MovingAndScared Fri 27-May-11 14:11:40

jigsaws and staking things too hard for my 15 month old - his favorite game is tipping things out of boxes
Could his father take him to the odd toddler group - just to give them both a change of scene - the ones at sure start centres are normally free - and can be a good place to link into health visitor/speech therapist if needed
and if he is doing hand gestures you could try baby signing - there are often classes or you could get books
Instabilites at home - I would be suprised if a 15 month would notice and I don't think it would impact on walking and talking - might make them a bit more unsettled but you don't say he is particularly unhappy - I think it was a bit of a mean thing of the other mum to say too

musicmaiden Fri 27-May-11 14:39:07

Definitely get the hearing checked out - the test is easy and you'll get solid answers straight away.

My DS has glue ear and he didn't respond to his name or understand instructions either at that age. However he really came on around 17-19mo and now I'd say his understanding improves all the time and he will follow simple instructions. So I would advise a wait and see approach with this - your DS is still small.

Don't worry about the walking - DS only took his first unaided steps at 18mo and it's really not uncommon. As long as he can cruise/support himself on legs, he'll get there.

As the weather gets better it's easier to be outside with a crawler, I'd say just take him to the garden/park with a ball, some stacking cups and books and let him get on with exploring. They can entertain themselves with a blade of grass at that age...

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