Making friends at school

[RockLover]

My dd aged 6 seems to be having trouble socialising and I'm sure if it is normal. She transferred schools at the end of her reception year because we moved area, but seems to have settled in well as she is working at top level in all areas of education.

However, she seems to have a problem making friends. She had a very close relationship with another little girl in her class, but has now decided that she doesn't really want to play with this friend anymore. DD is quite quiet and laid back and the little girl in question is very in her face all the time and follows her around. I think this is just too much for dd, so she has distanced herself from the friendship for now.

However, being a bit of a loner, dd seems to be having a tough time mixing with the rest of the children. Today she said she didn't like school because she finds it hard to get other kids to play with her (I think it's more because she is not confident enough and also she is very stubborn and does like things her own way).

There is no bullying going on or anything, but I'm not sure how to help her become more confident socially. Is this normal for a 6 year old? I feel like I may be worrying too much and I don't want dd to feel there is a problem.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Elk]

My dd, now 7 is very confident at meeting new children but does have difficulties maintaining friendships and I think is a bit of a loner. (for what sounds like similar reasons to your dd)

Does the school have a buddy bench or a friendship corner. It might be worth having a word with her class teacher. Some schools do have a policy in place to help children like this.

I too am unsure what to do to help. Changing schools has actually helped her to some extent because the new group of children are much more accepting of other childrens idiosyncracies and also due to the lack of the alpha female in the playground (deciding who can play with who).

[RockLover]

I am going to have a word with the teacher on Monday, although I have already spoken to her in the past about the problems she was having managing her friendship with the little girl I mentioned.

I don't want to seem like I am an oversensitive mother or anything, it would just be helpful if she can give me an idea of how dd interacts on a day to day basis.

[Elk]

Good luck talking to the teacher on Monday. I too had limited success with dd1's y2 teacher, she was helpful when there was a bullying issue but not so helpful with the worrying niggles I had.
In hindsight though I was right, dd1 wasn't happy (at least your dd has admitted it to you which although not nice to hear helps you to start to address the issue).

I don't know if I am helping by talking about dd1's experiences but at least you know your dd is not alone.

dd1 defineately has problems with the give and take of playground politics and also coping with teasing (and differentiating it from bullying). We are slowly working on it and she is getting better.

I think that some children just take longer to be comfortable in their own skins and also some prefer to be more solitary. dd1 is never going to be the queen of the playground so we are working on small steps to improve her happiness.