I am on my knees with this whiney, contrary, annoying, whinging, crying child I appear to have spawned.
is this just his age? or I have got a brat on my hands forever?
he cannot share. he cannot cope with being told to wait, or told "no". When things aren't right for him, he collapses in floods of tears and terrible wailing and sobbing that goes on for ages.
I don't give into the tears unless I think I've picked the wrong battle or been overly harsh, would say 90% of the time I stick to my guns.
Right now I actually feel completely mean as I am constantly telling him to behave, to stop crying, to stop whinging etc. he gets loads of attention and cuddles and playtime and toys and outings .... I think he gets a good balance of lovely things to do vs appropriate discipline, emphasis on manners etc but I'm obviously going wrong somewhere because his crying and wailing is so trigger-happy. I can't bear it any more!
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Behaviour/development
why is nothing EVER right for my 3.8yo?
HellinArcher · 01/01/2011 17:33
HellinArcher - yes my dd makes baby noises and sounds and silly baby voice a lot too...although I had presumed this was due to having a younger brother (he's 2)...but also suspect that she does it because she knows it winds me up!! Yes, my dd also cries over everything.
Tigerlion1 - I would like to say it stops at 4...but my dd is 4.5 years. Maybe it stops at 4.6! 
, I was going to say that I was clinging to four as the magic number. 13 has bought my hopes crashing down!
I have just read out loud all the 1st lines of posts to the above thread to my DH..and he has given out a massive sigh of relief.
miniMincePie (3 1/2yrs) has swung between vile and adorable over the past month. Sometimes it's taken a few days for the transistion to complete, some days minutes 
Fingers crossed they come out of it soon [passes round wine in the meantime]
*dilutes wine with lemonade
i am so glad (sorry, but i really AM glad there are other people going through this) not be have the one and only child going through this too.
i am very lucky in the fact there are 3 adults in the house (me, DH and adult DS) to dilute the situation at times, but by heck, the games they try to play are unbelievable!
tonight... i will brush my teeth but i won't have a wee. ok i will have a wee but i won't wipe. (sorry if TMI) i won't brush that tooth it doesn't need brushing...etc etc etc mostly said at the pitch only dogs and neighbours [gulp] can hear 
fattybum what a ray of hope your post is! I don't really recall dd (7) being this stroppy and contrary. I've been attributing much of ds's behaviour to changes at home / nursery etc but reading this thread maybe it's normal 3 / 4 and I really do need to stop making excuses! As for the baby behaviour we have this too Hellinarcher - not a high voice but replacing language with 'gaga'. Has also reverted back to the potty after more than a year of using toilet too. 
It does past honestly!!! I could have written this post when mine was 3.9.
I once had a very long telephone conversation (from work as it was only place I got any peace) with Parentline Plus these chaps during which I cried and sobbed about how awful he was and how terrible I must be and what had I done etc etc
The WONDERFUL lady on the phone told me not tot worry at all, and gave me some fab coping strategies, most of which I have forgotten, but 1 I remember which saved my sanity.
She said that I should get a dish of pennies, or stones or pebbles or even pasta and a jar or other bowl, and every time he made me smile move a piece over.
At the end of a truly awful soul destroying non stop battle day, do you know there were seven pebbles in the bowl. SEVEN How many adults in your life make you smile 7 times a day? Or even 3?
It kind of stopped me in my tracks and made me realise that it wasnt as bad as I thought and he was actually underneath it all a very sweet little boy.
He is now 5.10 and blows me away with how sweet, kind and well behaved he is, and has attracted compliments the whole holiday season on his behaviour, so there is hope yet!!!!!!
We're looking after my friend's little girl today (dd's best friend) and she's being utterly vile to her . We agreed on toys they would play with beforehand and put away anything 'precious'. She's currently screaming at her to go away and won't let her play with anything. What the hell is the matter with her??!!
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ds2 is 4.5 and a whiney brat atm. dd is almost 6 and not much better. 22 month old ds2 throws wobblies about every little thing and won't share and demands everything be done his way or the highway.
I'm told it'll pass
ah tigerlion - this is exactly how ds is - we put things away, talk about sharing beforehand, first thing he does is snatch off another child, then cries and wails when told not to.
I remove ds from the room, often put him into his bed - and tell him he is welcome to come back when he's ready to share, and that we would all love to see him back. ironically around about the time guests are thinking about leaving is when he suddenly relaxes and becomes good fun again...
I have a 3.2 year old who is getting to be this way. Yesterday his face crumpled and he dissolved into tears because the piece of chocolate money I'd given him was 'the wrong size'. Apparently at playgroup he is the happiest most well behaved child you could wish to meet
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