bedtime routine changed :-(

[kd73]

Have a 2 year old boy and have just given birth to another boy. Eldest child always had a beautiful routine and willingly took himself to bed at 7ish having had a book and bottle.

However since little brother arrived, he is reluctant to go to bed and will not entertain the idea of a lie down in preparation of sleep and just stands in his crib with arms outstretched.

We have taken to reading a book inside bedroom and have tried lying on the floor edging out of the room, we have tried sitting outside the room providing reassurance to him, all fail.

We did controlled crying returning every 5-10 -15 mins when eldest boy was about7 months old but not sure it will work at this age as he is very determined that sleep is not on the agenda,

Can anyone provide any advice or suggestions as I currently have 2 very upset babies :-(

[APixieInMyTea]

What do you do with the baby when your eldest is getting ready for bed?

I had this when my ds2 was born 12 weeks ago and 17month old toddler started playing up at bedtimes. It was because I was trying to juggle 2 babies and he didn't have my full attention.

I started getting the baby bathed, changed fed and in bed by 6pm whilst the toddler was playing after dinner.

He would wake up around 7.00/7.30ish but it didn't matter because I had a full hour to give my toddler the undivided attention he was craving, with cuddles, stories and milk before bed.

Dp is home a lot more now so it's easier as we take it in turns. One night he sorts the toddler while I do the baby and the next night I do the toddler whilst he does the baby.

[APixieInMyTea]

Sorry posted before I had finished....

Once the baby had woken up again I could concentrate on him knowing the toddler was happily asleep in bed.

Now with dp home and taking it in turns it means our toddler gets at least one hour undivided attention from one of us before bed which has made bedtimes loads more relaxing for us and our toddler.

[kd73]

Thanks for responding. My DP and I have always tried to put no 1 to bed together, however not a problem if one of us has gone out. However the problem is that no 2 is being bf on demand and as such, I have not always been able to take an active role with the putting no 1 to bed. Is this the problem and if so, how do i get round it?

[APixieInMyTea]

My ds2 is bf on demand too. On the nights I get the toddler ready, I make sure the baby has been fed as much as he'll take before 6pm when I start toddlers bedtime routine. Dp will take the baby and stay in the living room with the door closed. If baby starts getting a bit grumpy he will bounce/walk distract for a while if he can, sometimes I'll give him a bit more food in the bathroom while the toddler is too engrossed in his ducks and hand the baby back when it's time to get the toddler out.

Before dp was here and I was doing it all by myself, I would do the same except baby would be in his basket in the bedroom, maybe quick feed in bathroom if needed. When I was getting toddler ready after bath and the baby started stiring I would leave him unless he was really crying for me but tbh this only lasted about 3/4 nights before baby got used of the routine and would stay down for the full hour (or longer) giving me time to sort toddler out.