what do you think? long winded

[jolly4]

just wondered how other mumsts would have dealt with this next door but one nieghbour used too look after house we got too be friends 3 years ago when she moved in her 2 boys 1 of 10 1 of 6 plays with my ds who is 8 quie friendly we have fed them they play at our house and we go on dog walks with them ,but a while ago when we were away the little boy who lives next door voluntarily told me that thisboy 10 yo and 6 yo had been climbing our wall and had taken my bike and was riding it up and down the street i wasnt pleased so ispoke too his mum she dealt with accordingly then next time we were away we came back and found my bike as missin i went my nieghbours house to c if they knew of its wereabouts ,to which i was greeted by both sons saying they saw big boys in the back when he was on the park which we back onto we questioned as too whyhe never told his mum wot he saw and asked were they went we got no joy just said he didnt think, i was not too happy as i thought he was lieing his mum said she would question him again and would spk too there dad about it well we never heard anything for a while then me and dp went roundthe father answered the door and said that he had questioned him and he definitely didnt take the bike ,we were met with remarks of well its an old bike any way and so what if he was in garden any way that was the attitude well we went away and my last remark was i am sorry but i have a feeling that your son is lyin an left he wasnt too happy anyway 2 hours later i had a knock on the door it was his dad and his son with MY BIKE so dad apologied we ended up with the key back too our house and apologised made we gave him the benifit of the doubt slowly started too forgive him, he had been warned by his parents too stay out of our back i wouldnt mind but the gate was locked dosent that say enough and then he climbed over we now lock the bike in shed,Then yesterday i walked too get dd from nursery my gate was locked were my house is situated i can c in my garden from the road at the bottom we have a metal gate i spotted the two boys in my garden then watched them climb the wall back out as i calmly approached from the front they were walking from drive i calmly asked did he not get intotrouble weeks ago for going in my garden and climbing over he in a cheeky manner said"I AVENT BEEN IN YOUR GARDEN" i said "YES YOU HAVE I SAW YOU" he still denied i said " DONT LIE I SAW YOU ACROSS THE FIELD" then he cheekily prceeded too pick stones an started throwin one by one on the ground i i then lost it i angrily shouted at him told him too get off my property an then said not too bother calling at our house too play with my ds as he will not be made welcome as he was a liar and i cannot stand liers sent him packin my dp had just came in i explained what happened he went too seehis mother i was 2 angry anyway he was grounded for the day i will not allow my ds too play with him an feel he could be a bad influence if i did forgive him again i have had no apologie trouble is family next door have ds too who my ds plays with and today i felt sorry for him as he said its not fair i want to play with x but x is there and you dont want me too play but me and dp made it up my playing with him . do you think i over reacted or did the right thingwith the situation.

[Caththerese1973]

ugh what a nightmare. It's the parents to blame, really. they should teach their sons better manners and values! Fancy talling you 'it was only an old bike!' no wonder you were angry.
Try not to get into a huge feud with them, though. If they (the boys) won't stop climbing in your garden, take a deep breath, go next door and ask the parents very calmly and politely (even if you don't feel like it)to takw the situation in hand. If you are really nice about the way you put it, they should not have an excuse to get angry with you or be rude. perhaps you could even put it in terms of 'look, I know boys can be a handful, and your boys are nice kids, but I really can't have them climbing in and out of my garden and taking my bike without asking, and I hope no offence is taken.'
If the 'nice' approach does not work, you will have to get more aggressive. But I think at all costs avoid really losing your head, or insulting the little boys (however awful they are) as that will only lead to permanent bad feelings and make it hard for you to keep living in your street.

[basketcase]

I know they didn?t support you about the bike originally, maybe they genuinely believed the little liar on that occasion? However, got to say, they have backed you up, grounded him, told them to stay away from your garden, came back with the bike and apologised in person - all of that must count for a bit in the parent?s behaviour. From seeing my neighbour who is a lovely strong woman struggle endlessly with her two wayward boys, try not to blame parents entirely while they are seeming to deal with it.
I think you did the right thing - they need to know where they stand with you and your garden, that you are no fool and will not be lied to. I also think that keeping talking to their parents is also a good thing as they probably appreciate you taking the time to keep them informed, albeit a little awkward and and embarrassing for all. TBH sounds like keeping your DS away from them might be a good thing..

[basketcase]

If it happens again, fwiw, I would escalate things one step further and let them know that if you see them in your garden or suspect they have been in there, you will phone the police rather than the parents and let the police talk to them - might make them sit up if they are so cocky that their parent?s tellings off have little impact. Well, you can live and hope
Sounds like they need to be shocked and stopped now rather than when they go one step further and try to break into your shed or even house.

[jolly4]

thanks for your opinion its just that we used too be really chatty and now we hardly speak i have just been too talk too her we have hopefully resolved the issue