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Name for family reasons which doesn't 'go'

(22 Posts)
CravingOlives Sat 03-Oct-09 20:43:11

Sorry, I didn't really know what to call this post. My H recently lost his grandmother which hit him very hard. We are expecting a baby girl in 2w and this week he's said he'd like to use her name as a middle name for the baby, recognising the fact she wont get to meet her great grandchild.

I obviously have no problem with this, I still have my grandmother and know if the situations were reversed I'd feel the same BUT her name was Joan and our surname is Jones.

I know full names are rarely said outloud as a whole, but is there anything I can do to lessen the Jo-Jo impact? My son only has one mn, but in the circumstances I'd consider giving our daughter two.

Our (current!) first name choice is Coralie. Does anyone have any ideas please?

DLI Sat 03-Oct-09 20:57:07

what about speak with you dh and suggesting incoporating it into joanelle, joanne or joanna and explain that you do wish to include his grandmother's name but that it doesn't quite go with your surname.

MrsBadger Sat 03-Oct-09 21:03:17

what was her middle name? Must have been something that'll go with Jones it it went nicely with Joan...

ilovemydogandmrobama Sat 03-Oct-09 21:08:08

Or use her maiden name as a middle name?

CravingOlives Sat 03-Oct-09 21:09:59

Thanks both.

MrsBadger you know I can't believe I hadn't thought of that. He's just gone off to bed, I'll ask him tomorrow morning. Her name was Joan Jones so I'm loathe to tell him that
I don't like the sound of it. I don't think he'd want to change the name unfortunately DLI. Gah, tricky.

Hassled Sat 03-Oct-09 21:10:06

I think just go with it. The only time her full name will ever be spoken allowed in front of an audience will at be her wedding, and then she won't care. I think the reasons behind it outweigh the Jo-Jo factor.

CravingOlives Sat 03-Oct-09 21:10:48

ilmdamo, another great idea which I hadn't thought of, thank you!

Hassled Sat 03-Oct-09 21:12:47

Cravingolives - did she live in Cardiff? If so, would you mind CATing me? I tried to CAT you, but you're not set up.

CravingOlives Sat 03-Oct-09 21:14:54

Hassled, no she was born in and lived in Essex her entire life.

I'm sorry I'm relatively new to this and don't know what CAT is lol x

Pyrocanthus Sat 03-Oct-09 21:16:46

Add a third name after Joan to separate it from Jones?

CravingOlives Sat 03-Oct-09 21:17:50

Pyrocanthus, I was thinking that could be a possibility too.

Coralie Joan XXX Jones then. But what?!

Hassled Sat 03-Oct-09 21:18:09

I wanted to say phew! but that's not right because I'm sorry for your loss - but you know what I mean.

CAT = Contact A Talker? Contact A Something, anyway. Click on the envelope by someone's name and you can send them a message - MNHQ email it on to them.

KristinaM Sat 03-Oct-09 21:19:27

i like the idea of using her middle name or maiden name rather than Joan

or is there another name that has the same meaning or on another language eg Maria / mary /Mhairi

if not i would go with a second middle name, even if its a bit of a mouthful, i think

Coralie Joan Elizabeth Jones

is better than

Coralie Joan Jones

I don't use my husbands surname, but if i did it would be a similar unfortunate combination

CravingOlives Sat 03-Oct-09 21:28:06

Ahh Hassled, thank you, that makes sense now!

Kristina, it's funny, Elizabeth was the name I'd also been thinking of if we added an extra one in, and it does make it scan better.

I think I'll wait and see what he says re maiden/middle names tomorrow and decide from there.

Thank you for your input everyone. I will report back! x

BikeRunSki Sat 03-Oct-09 22:34:27

I rather like the "Jo-Jo" effect. IT coudl be a sweet nickname. I know a Josephine Joan ***, known as Jo-Jo.

CravingOlives Sun 04-Oct-09 08:30:20

BRS, in the middle of the night it hit me that she'd be Co Jo Jo though if we stick with our first name choice. That's cruel, right?! Anyway, H overslept and had to sprint out of the door to work so I haven't had chance to ask the crucial questions lol. I hope to know more tonight!

belgo Sun 04-Oct-09 08:33:59

Coralie Joan Jones. Sounds ok, I'd stick to that. If his grandmother got through life as Joan Jones, that your dd will have no problem with Joan as a middle name!

simplesusan Sun 04-Oct-09 23:24:27

I think Joan Jones is too much of a mouthful. Agree with others who have suggested either a third name (not beginning with J) or use Joanne/Johanna instead of Joan.
People will see it written down and it will get read out from time to time so do consider this.

CravingOlives Mon 05-Oct-09 20:01:22

Right, thanks for all your input. We have considered and discounted:

using an alternative to joan (H thinks it would dilute the 'tribute')

using her middle (she didn't have one!) or her maiden name (it's a definite surname, and I worry it would make our daughter sound double barreled, not wrong in itself but I don't want it to sound too different to my son's name)

so we are left with the 'joan jones' thing, which I'll just have to get used to! As my H said, it was her name for 80y, it can't be that bad.

I am beginning to think Cora Joan Jones scans better than Coralie though? But maybe that's one to decide after the birth x

Pyrocanthus Mon 05-Oct-09 20:03:25

No, Cora Joan Jones is a bit staccato; Coralie works better.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween Mon 05-Oct-09 20:04:16

DD's middle names are to "honour" 2 great grandmothers. One was Frances so I went for Francesca, and my gran hated her first name so I used her middle name instead. they are both remembered in her names but changed slightly.

gagamama Mon 05-Oct-09 20:13:54

What about Coralie Joan Lily Jones, or Coralie Joan Amy Joans, or something like that? I think that balances the 'Jo' sounds with 'Lee' or 'Ee' sounds... not sure what you think to that.

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