AIBU

[emilyls]

AIBU to want my child to have my second name and not my DP?

We've been together 5 years and this is my first pregnancy. He always made it clear he wasn't interested in marriage and I've always said that if we were not married and had children then they would take my name.
At first he was not happy about this but clearly got over it as one is now on the way.

His family who claim to be great liberals are upset about this decision and keep pestering him to propose to me.
I've said that I want to be married if he wants to actually marry me not just because I am now pregnant and he feels it's the only way for his child to have his second name.
I've also said I won't be a pregnant bride so it's too little too late (nothing wrong with pregnant brides by the way!)

If we did get married in years to come and our children were still very young then I would change their names or if they were older they would of course have the choice- to be honest I'm not even sure Id want to change my name now after all of this!!

Another point that bothers me so much is that I feel a bit insulted- what is wrong with my name anyway? That's probably just the pregnant sensitive woman in me though!

[TheDowagerCuntess]

You're not being in the slightest bit unreasonable, and you know it.

[emilyls]

@TheDowagerCuntess Thank you! Sometimes I worry about these decisions and how they will effect family dynamics. I was fairly confident in my decision until even my aunt said I should think about how my children will feel at school with a different name to their father!
I then starting doubting myself.

[Awrite]

The only thing you are being unreasonable about is that you might allow yourself to be bullied into changing your name if your dp is kind enough to marry you.

Stick to your guns. Nothing wrong with your name. More children should have their mother's birth name. Much, much more.

[letsallhaveanap]

YANBU at all

[TheDowagerCuntess]

even my aunt said I should think about how my children will feel at school with a different name to their father!

Why would this possibly bother them? Lots of kids have different names from their mothers, and seem completely untraumatised by it.

The next generation are far less bothered about the sorts of things previous generations saw fit to get worked up about.

Women and children taking men's names has no logical basis - children especially, should take women's names, since it's women who're far more likely to have the care of them in the event of a split.

[Chocolatecake12]

Why don’t you give the child both of your surnames. I’m sure that’s what they do in Spain!

[MariaMadita]

YANBU.

[Picknickers]

You are being totally reasonable!

[DiegoMadonna]

Double barrel