Middle Name Dilemma

[pinkpeony4]

Hi there

I am expecting our first girl after 3 boys. Our boys all have two middle names which are family names and the dilemma I have it that the name I really need to use as a middle name for dd is my mothers but it is Barbara... even she doesn't like her name but I think she will probably be very offended if we don't honour her in some way.

Can anyone come up with a shortened version (not Barbie, Babs etc..) that we could use as a middle name for our first girl?

Alternatively, I thought we could just give this baby two middle names we love that don't have any family connection. This will be our last baby and only girl so a good excuse to use up the girls names we love.

Thanks

[NickNacks]

Does your mum have a middle name? Her maiden name?

[TiggerWearsATriteSmile]

Babe tote?

[TiggerWearsATriteSmile]

Babe tote?

Sorry, Babette is what I meant!

[birdofthenorth]

If it was me I would just use Barbara, with a first name you love and another middle name from the family that you like too, if possible. I think having set a precedent now you will indeed offend if you go with random middle names. Barbara isn't fashionable but it's not dreadful or funny etc.

[Anonymumous]

When I saw the title of the thread, I thought you were thinking of using 'Dilemma' as a middle name!

Does your Mum have a middle name you could use instead of Barbara? Or a suitably cool maiden name, perhaps? I was going to suggest that you could also find a name with the same meaning as Barbara and use that instead. But then I looked up the meaning of Barbara and it said "Foreign, strange"... maybe not, then!

[pinkpeony4]

Middle name is Joan... and maiden name is a colour so not usable.. tricky!!

[Gwennan]

Instead of using Barbara, why not ask your mum to pick a name she does like for your daughter's middle name?

[NickNacks]

Is is Violet?

[pinkpeony4]

Sadly not because I love Violet & it was on our list for a first name!

Gwennan That is a lovely idea but I kind of feel that it's our baby so we should be able to choose the name - maybe that's selfish?!

[Anonymumous]

What colour is her maiden name? If it's White, there are some lovely names out there meaning white things. Fenella is white-shouldered; Guinevere is white, fair and smooth; Gwen or Gwyn are Welsh for white, so you could pick any of a number of names starting with those letters.

If her maiden name was Black, you could go for Ebony or something like that. If it was Green, you could go for a tree or plant name - there are loads of them. Brown... hmmm... Brunhilda?!

Or could you find an acceptable version of Joan? Joni is quite a cool modern version?

Or, if you like the idea of choosing a name that your Mum likes but you don't want to relinquish control over choosing it, why not start an innocent conversation with her about names in general and get her onto the subject of what she would like to have been called. Then if she says anything that strikes a chord with you, you can pick that and explain why when the baby is born!

[pinkpeony4]

Oh I like the idea of Joni, not at all offensive and still honouring her somehow. Thanks for that! I also like the idea of finding a name she likes but I do think that a name connected to hers would work better!

Thanks!!

[BonaDea]

I'm Scottish and it is quite common to use mother's maiden names (ie your or your own mum's) for middle names, even for girls. So, my mum's middle name is Morrison which was her mother's maiden name. Anyway, it's a thought and would still give a nod to your mum even if not using her christian name.

OR, could you let your mum PICK the middle name? As a way to involve her without using the name you don't actually like?

[mrstowers]

I do a lot of family history and as BonaDea said it is very common for a child to take a mothers or grandmothers maiden name as their middle name. In fact a lot of names that we now consider to be first names are in actual fact surnames ie Craig.